Cocoon

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

She lived in a cocoon. She lived like this for as long as she could remember. It was a cozy world. You can think about what you want and imagine yourself in various unusual circumstances, and no one will know about it. She liked "Scarlet Sails" by A. Green. Sometimes she imagined herself in the place of Assol, only her prince would be different, unlike anyone else.

But sometimes I had to face reality. And it was a completely different, hostile, dangerous, frightening world. She's not that much afraid. She forbade herself to fear, only her body was habitually contracting. She allowed herself to relax, taking a hot bath with fragrant foam, sliding her hands over her body, shaking off the tension, sweetly falling asleep in sweat. Then she dreamed pink dreams, which were quickly forgotten, leaving the feeling of something warm and pleasant.

She carefully went to the university, she liked to study. Coursework, diploma, always excellent. And now, it was all over, the uncertainty of new contacts increased the anxiety. This summer the tension has reached a maximum. Everything pissed her off, especially her mother's useless advice.

Once she was covered. She was on the train. Something stabbed in her shoulder, and it suddenly seemed to her that a needle was sticking out of her body, from the inside. It was impossible, but a suffocating wave rose, the thought of death clearly arose in my head, my legs ceased to hold. She literally fell out of the carriage at the station, fortunately, there was a bench nearby, on which she plopped down exhausted, trembling, depressed, helpless. There was not enough air, sweat covered his forehead. Gradually she came to her senses, but for some time she sat, afraid of repetition. The cocoon became cramped, it could no longer protect.

We close because we don't feel safe. This happens when there is no emotional closeness, even at a tender age. The child's emotions do not find a response, and he concludes that I am not important, not significant, and a feeling of insecurity arises. He invents a space for himself to hide from the fear that fetters, deprives of will and strength. Cocoon, this is a withdrawal reaction. It happens in another way. Fear makes you attack, and then you can get a violent reaction in response to an innocent phrase. This is what

the opposite of a cocoon, aggression. The mechanisms that protect the psyche are very variable. Unbearable pain can overwhelm. Vitality or the ability to survive includes them, which allows you to survive negative overload. A person runs for cover, because he is defending himself, so it is easier to survive. Cocoon is a state, fixed, frozen, in which reality is replaced by illusion. They run there from the cold, criticizing mother, who does not tolerate objections and never praises, even turning inside out, from misunderstanding, from rejection.

But, the desire to hide from their own feelings, which only seem intolerable in an adult state, leads to addictions of various kinds, into strange relationships, from which it is not easy to get out. This is also a cocoon. It's dark there. Consciousness turns into a small flashlight. He highlights a narrow space in front of him - a wall, dark and monolithic, and it seems that there can be no way out. Out of despair, you can try to break through it, and nothing comes of it.

To get out of the cocoon is to change the scale of the problem, to find the point from which everything went wrong, this point of pain, and it was necessary to escape from it, pain, to be saved. This is how the nature of all living things is arranged and the human psyche is looking for an opportunity to protect it from troubles in the simplest way, and then it repeats itself, because once it worked. Only now, repetition does not take into account new circumstances, and now it gets in the way, trapping the stereotypes of the past, turning into his personal scenario. This passes by consciousness, now, the shoulders are already raised a little more, the hands are looking for the usual gadget, the voice is trembling, the breathing is shallow. The ancient mechanism of the reptilian brain is not intelligent, it just works. The defense becomes a prison.

You can't be a happy hermit, it's against nature. To get out

it is necessary to shift the focus of attention, change the dominant. You need to find the strength to recognize the flight and name the feelings that accompanied it. We need to see a picture of where it all started and where it led. Thought travel through time allows you to see the reality of the past, a panorama of the future, connecting the possibilities of choice in the present. Behind all this are the same eternal questions: who, me? Am I worthy? do i need me? It is very important to find a resource - something that you can rely on, it is always there, even if it is not immediately visible. All-powerful fears suddenly turn out to be just shadows of the past. The child gets joy from what he does. The same thing happens with an adult if he listens to himself when he does something. In therapy, the client may experience a secure relationship for the first time without ever leaving the world, in a cocoon. These timid sprouts of trust make the shell not so strong, it already makes you feel the alluring smell of freedom. A small victory gives a lot of self-esteem, and a choice appears.

The cocoon protects and restrains at the same time. We get used to it and do not notice until it becomes cramped, while its security and stability are more important than development, while desires can be fulfilled within its boundaries, while its warm comfort restrains the growing fear. It protects from real emotions, and from joy too. Sometimes the habit turns out to be too strong, and the whole life is spent in a confined space. We have firmly grasped the simple fight-and-flight responses, but how do we find the balance of freedom and security? Trust your feelings, even if you were taught from childhood that you need to do "right", and everything else is not important. They will always tell you that something is wrong. You cannot change the time, but you can become different now. We build defenses and we can get out of them, because they are no longer needed. Do not forget that in nature there is a cocoon, only an intermediate phase of development.

Emerge from the cocoon … the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly to continue its natural movement, beautifying the world, contributing to its vibrant diversity.