2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I was prompted to write this post by an anonymous review of me as a doctor. After waiting for the emotions to subside and the desire to answer in the spirit of "the fool herself" will pass, I thought that the problem of overestimated expectations of a "miracle" from a doctor, no matter whether it is a psychotherapist, gynecologist, neurologist, etc., today, in conditions of paid medicine is more relevant than ever. And then, in response, I formulated my thoughts and views on this problem and ways to solve it
Here is this review in full and my answer to it. The anonymous spelling is preserved.
Review: "Awful and unscrupulous" doctor "!! I contacted her in the Priobrazhenskaya clinic, not that it became better from her sessions, on the contrary - much worse! Absolutely no immersion in the patient's problem, no individual approach, very negligent attitude towards their patients. I DO NOT RECOMMEND !!!"
Answer: “Thank you for such an emotional response. Because it is on his example that I want to warn all those who apply or are going to seek professional psychological help from unjustified expectations and severe disappointment.
Unfortunately, our society has developed a kind of consumer attitude towards the doctor. Say, I paid money, brought a sick body / soul, and you, doctor, if you please do something with me, and I will watch how you do it. It's a delusion.
As the great Avicenna said, there is you, there is me and your illness. And you and I TOGETHER are fighting your disease. Psychotherapy is DOCTOR AND PATIENT WORKING TOGETHER. The doctor-psychotherapist takes responsibility for helping, but the patient takes responsibility for fulfilling the recommendations and tasks of the doctor, no matter how impossible and difficult they may seem. The therapist CANNOT respond to your emotions for you. The therapist won't find a husband for you. The psychotherapist will not go to talk to your loved ones and / or employers for you that you should not be treated like that. A psychotherapist is not a nanny who will take care of you, protect you, wipe your noses and change diapers 24 hours a day. The therapist DOES NOT SOLVE your problems. The psychotherapist HELPS YOU TO SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS.
Therefore, do not expect a miracle by contacting a psychotherapist or psychologist. Internal work on oneself is a serious, I repeat, JOINT process.
Moreover, psychotherapy is not about stroking the erogenous zones. Not always everything can be light and radiant. Getting in touch with the negative sides of your soul is not always pleasant.
But in order to take responsibility for your life, for your health, including mental health, you need a certain courage, intelligence and maturity. It is much easier to hang the responsibility on the doctor and, from the position of the Victim, blame him for his failures, saying that the doctor is to blame, which did not get better, and even got worse. But, if the patient ran away from the operating table with an open wound, and he felt worse, then who is to blame? Doctor? If the dentist recommends that you brush your teeth, but you do not, and deep caries and pulpitis develop, who is to blame? Doctor again ???
You can be understood. You may have been waiting for a miracle. That the therapist will wave a magic wand, and life will improve. But miracles do not happen. And therefore, you are driven by disappointment, anger and resentment for the whole world. I do not know who you are. I do not know what the essence of your claims is. But I’m ready to help you. Write in a personal."
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