2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We are all snowflakes - at the same time similar to each other and different …
I often hear the expression - love for something …
This kind of message makes a person try to "guess this something" and adapt to it. But this is a path from oneself, a path from one's true Self.
They love you for being who you are. It is both simple and difficult at the same time - to be like that, to be yourself …
It seems that this is difficult - be yourself and that's it! In addition, many popular articles on psychology unanimously shout about this!
However, in practice, everything turns out to be not so simple.
Not easy, because most people at the moment when they hear - “Be yourself! Love yourself! - there are already problems with acceptance and love, and they persistently try to change either others or themselves. And more often both.
But when I change myself, I move away from my essence - the essence of my I - unique, like fingerprints. Each of us has our own unique and unrepeatable structure. And that is why we are valuable. This is the original I.
It's like a Snowflake. With a specific configuration. We are all snowflakes - similar to each other and at the same time different.
You simply are that configuration, you are the Snowflake that another needs. And all that is needed for this is to accept and love yourself. And in the world there is a person (and more than one) who will like just such a Snowflake.
The above also applies to the Other. You cannot change the people around you, especially when they don’t want to. And you shouldn't waste your time and energy on it. But you can choose those around you. And for this you need to be able to listen to yourself and see the other.
Changing myself, I make it impossible to find those who need me as I. I deceive them, showing them not myself. And people in this deception go very far from themselves. Trying to make yourself what is necessary and convenient for another - not yourself.
How to understand that you have left your true self?
Most often this is manifested in the loss of vital energy, interest in life. What used to be important ceases to be so. Apathy, boredom, loss of the meaning of life appear. In difficult cases, there may even be depression.
Why do people do this?
They want to be loved. And love is expensive. People are ready for a lot because of love, they are even ready to betray themselves. Especially when you are a small person and completely dependent on others and their relationship to themselves.
It is not easy to accept and love yourself. It is not easy when you are not accepted and loved by others. When others did not see you, but saw their own image of you in you. They didn't see or hear you. They didn't ask you what you want, what you love, what do you appreciate? They constantly spoke, advised, hinted, urged you to be what They want!
And you, too, began to dislike yourself, you began to chase after this desired image of yourself, you betrayed yourself, you ceased to be yourself!
What if you have lost yourself?
First you need to learn to listen to yourself. And this requires silence! Even if there are no others who criticize others, their voices continue to sound in your head. You need to silence all these other people's voices!
The ugly duckling had to escape from the poultry yard to the swamps, where he could not hear the chorus of other people's voices, who knew better than him what he should be. And in this solitude, to meet with yourself, to see your reflection in the water surface. Otherwise, the "duck / cock / turkey tail" would be firmly attached to him and he would not be able to see himself - his swan essence. The Ugly Duckling: Crooked Mirrors and Healing Loneliness wrote here in more detail about the possibility of meeting oneself
In life, there is no need to "go to the swamp" for meeting with yourself. For this there is psychotherapy - a great opportunity to organize this meeting.
When you discover and accept yourself as genuine, you open your inner energy and begin to “work” from it. You become less dependent on "external sources of energy" - assessments, approvals from other people. Love and Freedom appear in your heart! And you discover in yourself the ability to Create!
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SNOWFLAKE
We are all snowflakes - at the same time similar to each other and different … I often hear the expression - love for something … This kind of message makes a person try to "guess this something" and adapt to it. But this is a path from oneself, a path from one's true Self.
