Sacrificial Lamb

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

During the celebration of the Old Testament Passover, there was a tradition to sacrifice in the name of atonement for the sins of the "immaculate" one-year-old lamb or goat (lamb). The animal was cooked whole, without crushing bones, on an open fire and eaten before dawn.

Christ in the Bible is also called the sacrificial lamb (Agnus Dei lat.), Which was called to atone for the sins of the world.

At all times, self-sacrifice, self-denial was considered a noble way of life, when a person could stoically endure hardships and suffering. This position has always been approved by the society. And who now refuses to take advantage of another's willingness to sacrifice his own interests?

In psychology, victim (sacrificial) behavior, on the contrary, is considered destructive. Why? Let's see what kind of behavior characterizes the human victim.

This is not about the fact that during a shipwreck, a drowning person, instead of himself, puts a child in a boat - this is his conscious choice.

Behavior becomes destructive when a person does not accept himself, his life, but does not try to change anything, moreover, makes others suffer.

The victim is afraid or unwilling to make vital decisions, shifting responsibility for his own well-being to others. If the victim does not feel subjective well-being, she begins to blame.

The victim does nothing for nothing, she expects gratitude. Such a person is convinced that by providing services to people, constantly pleasing, he binds them to himself. However, without receiving gratitude, the victim begins to blame.

The victim cannot immediately say that she does not like something, she can endure for a long time, and then suddenly explode.

The victim's partner is perplexed: at first he thinks that a person's actions are dictated by his need, personal choice, but gradually he feels constrained by duty and morality. Not receiving the expected response, the victim begins to "bill". The case can come to revenge, if the victim seems to be the only way to restore justice.

The victim's behavior is not governed by internal self-sufficiency, but by complexes: fear of evaluation, fear of loneliness, helplessness, lack of a sense of significance, desire for control …

An internal feeling of strangled self-esteem makes the victim want to recoup, but the victim is not always able to show aggression openly. Therefore, she often acts covertly, passively-aggressively, resorts to double standards.

This behavior cannot be called noble. Rather, it testifies to a crisis of self-awareness, overcoming which a person can gain a sense of individuality, self-sufficiency - through understanding his needs, his share of responsibility for what is happening, and increasing self-esteem.

If the victim does no harm to anyone, but, on the contrary, is offended, infringed upon?

If sacrifice is an approved quality, then a person simply has to endure everything, endure, turn his right cheek when they hit on the left.

This inability to stand up for himself will bring constant attacks on him, making life a hell.

What is the difference between self-confident behavior?

1. He is able to act decisively in his own interests. 2. Takes responsibility only for his part of the case. 3. We tolerate temporary setbacks. 4. He meets difficulties with enthusiasm, realizing that in many ways the solution to the problem depends on him. 5. Decently responds to criticism, is capable of constructive discussion of contradictions. 6. Realizes that the other person is a separate person who has a right to his views and emotions. 7. Understands his needs, denotes boundaries. 8. Able to rely on his decisions. 9. Able to admit his mistakes, weaknesses, incompetence in anything. 10. Openly asks what you want and is ready to receive it.

An assertive (confident) sense of self and behavior can be developed with the help of a psychologist.