The Requirement To Enjoy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The requirements for a woman in modern society are very high. We can observe such a phenomenon as hyperfunctionality - when a woman is both a mother and a wife, and a successful employee, and a good housewife … This is partly due to the social gender contract that has been in force in our country since the first half of the twentieth century - the contract “working mother. According to this “contract,” a woman must combine motherhood and full-fledged work 40 hours a week for the benefit of her homeland. Historical events (in particular, the Second World War and the subsequent post-war years) contributed to this - it was necessary to raise the birth rate and the national economy, and all this at the same time, with an obvious lack of men who died on the battlefields, as well as destroyed by the political system …

The parasitism law (remember this one?) Was repealed in 1991. For 25 years now, any person in our country can not work if he does not want to, and there will be no persecution of him from the state system. However, in the early 90s, such an economic and political situation developed that women often, as more flexible and sharpened to survive in any conditions, worked for two - both for themselves and for a husband who was unable to adapt to the market system (good this period is illustrated in the 1997 film The Princess on the Beans). In addition, the new economy opened up excellent career prospects for women - foreign corporations entered the Russian market, banks and trade enterprises were created, in which the labor of women was quite in demand and well paid.

Thus, although legally a woman could well have stopped working, in fact, few people went to “domestic wives”.

At the moment, one way or another, the social contract of the “working mother” is still preserved. Take a look around - you will surely see that most of the women around you continue to combine work and raising children. Of course, it is also obvious that a fairly large group of women has emerged who are in no hurry to have children, preferring to devote enough time to their careers and the formation of a financial "safety cushion". The first children are often born when the mother is already strongly over 30, and this is no longer considered "abnormal". That is, there are intensively working non-mothers who, over time, may become non-working mothers. Also, the currents of childfree ("free from children"), and even childhead ("detonators") became noticeable.

In addition to working women and women without children, there is a noticeable layer of non-working mothers. These are large families supporting the “traditional” patriarchal way of life - in this case, the woman simply has no time to work - she works as a mother. And families where there are one or two children, but parents, and mother in particular, actively form their "human capital" - intensively educates, teaches, invests as much as possible so that children can succeed in life thanks to a high level of education and emotional intelligence.

Another offshoot is entrepreneur mothers, or self-employed mothers. On the one hand, they participate in the economic life of the family, on the other hand, they independently regulate the intensity of their work, while maintaining the possibility of closer contact with children.

That is, we can see that the “working mother” contract, despite the fact that it is still the main gender contract, is currently supplemented by other options for female behavior acceptable to society.

One of the interesting phenomena faced by modern women is the demand to “enjoy”. The society, represented by the media, girlfriends, and colleagues, expects from a woman that, in addition to her “debt to the family” or “to society,” she must also repay the “debt to herself”. Female hedonism should, according to modern society, be manifested in self-care (for oneself beloved, and not in order to be attractive and successfully marry), in the presence of various "female" hobbies (painting in oils, attending dance or vocal classes, embroider, etc.), in time for oneself and female communication (when “the whole world will wait”).

On the one hand, I personally like the idea of enjoying life, living every moment of life with pleasure. I am ready to hang the slogan “Mom is happy - everyone is happy” over my bed. On the other hand, in my work I encounter serious problems that give rise to the ideas of female hedonism. When “I can enjoy life” turned into “I must enjoy life,” some women fell into a stupor. They need to fulfill the task set by society in a situation where not always and not everyone has such an opportunity. And the task entrusted by society and unfulfilled sits like a thorn. “I am made for enjoyment - so why am I not enjoying? Apparently, something is wrong with me. " Thus, a great idea mutates into another factor of social pressure, but of a new kind. If earlier it was “I am 25 years old, but I am not married yet”, now it is often said “I am 25 years old, and I have no hobbies”. The absence of any "female" occupation in the arsenal makes a woman somewhat inferior.

What are the consequences of forced female hedonism?

• First, it is, oddly enough, a decrease in the level of satisfaction with life (I do not have what everyone has)
• Secondly, this is the formation of an inferiority complex (I am not capable of what everyone else is capable of)
• Thirdly, the feeling of guilt (I do not feel what I should feel, I do not do what is expected of me)

Maybe this is very sad and non-optimistic, but I would like the girls who, due to circumstances, currently live like "peasant women" (that is, literally survive in difficult economic conditions, work and independently support themselves and their children with their own labor), have ceased to consider themselves obliged to have, for example, leisure, like the "noblewomen" who are in milder economic conditions - in a financially successful marriage, or do not yet have children, and therefore are able to spend all their resources on "themselves, loved ones."

Women are not required to have a hobby, there is no law that would require us to work in a job that gives you sheer pleasure. Sometimes a job is just a way to get the means to live on. Yes, we can take care of ourselves, have fun and rest, but to the extent of our real capabilities, as well as the capabilities of our family.

Do not allow the demands for female hedonism, which modern society puts forward to us through social media, television and other communication channels, to contradict your personal needs and requirements.