2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Useful and Useless Experiences. Why are we worried?
It is clear that each of us wants everything to be fine with him and his loved ones. So that adversity, misfortune, illness bypasses us, and this is normal.
The problem is that we cannot control the future, we do not know what will happen, and in general we have a very limited influence on events and the people around us.
Therefore, when it seems to us that there is some small probability of danger, we begin to worry. Vague fears, doubts, thoughts, conjectures come to us, which begin with the phrase "What if?, Or what if something terrible happened."
Example: What if I get fired from my job, how will my family live then? Another example, the son / daughter is late for home, the mother begins to worry, and thoughts come to her: "What if the daughter got into an accident or something bad happened to her?"
The question is, are these thoughts normal?
Of course, they are normal, we are all inherent in excitement, and such thoughts from time to time come to each of us.
How do we deal with this?
With the help of specific actions, we take and call our relatives, clarifying why they are late, whether everything is normal with them. Or, we increase the number of variations. For example, a daughter may be late due to traffic jams, she could be late at work, this has already happened more than once, and so on. Such actions lead to a decrease in anxiety.
What's the problem?
The problem is that there are times when there are too many bad thoughts, one negative thought pulls another, the following one. And it becomes difficult for a person to stop this inexhaustible stream of thoughts, the brain begins to project a huge number of negative outcomes, which at times raises anxiety.
What to do about it? Experiences can be helpful and unhelpful.
Useful experiences:
- Realistic, associated with real threats. For example: A child is ill, we are worried about his health, and we go to the hospital
- Associated with an active position. Lead to an action plan. Example: Decline in sales. Actions: Analysis of problems, creation of an action plan, intermediate goals and their implementation.
- Controlled and time limited. We can worry for a while, but not constantly, we can also stop the process of worrying ourselves.
- Experiences associated with threats that I can really influence. Example: If we feel short of breath when we climb the bridge, it is a matter of endurance and exercise. You can change the situation by including physical exercise, fitness, running in your life.
Useless experiences
- Imposed by hypothetical, unlikely problems. Example: What if I get schizophrenia? Or, if there is one symptom and on the basis of it, the person concludes that a serious illness is.
- The danger and consequences are exaggerated.
- Do not lead to specific actions to solve the problem
- Uncontrolled, long-term
- Related to problems and threats that we cannot control. Example: What if something bad happens in the future?
It is important to learn to be aware of our useful and useless experiences. Give them an assessment. If they are helpful and have a solution, then take concrete steps. If useless, then understanding and acceptance of the fact that we do not control the result.
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