About Personal Truth

Video: About Personal Truth

Video: About Personal Truth
Video: Field of Vision - Personal Truth 2024, May
About Personal Truth
About Personal Truth
Anonim

What do I mean by inner truth? An open and loving, naive and pure voice of the child's “I”, lost in the layers of “adulthood”.

How amazed I was when I realized that all this time, when I considered my spiritual kindness and openness, my love for every creature, my hope for the best and the desire to give a friend a smile, all this time I was NOT inadequate, broken and not “realistic” enough, and the society around me was strenuously smearing “social norms” on my soul.

I remember deliberately inventing my own kind of suffering in order to intermarry with my friend's dysfunctional family.

I remember how diligently I tried to get angry, because I found that the angrier you are, the cooler you are. And the cooler you are, the more you are accepted. Pompous anger became the only relationship-building tool available to me. It seemed to me that by continuing to respond to geography with a proudly thrown head, carefully circling the barrels of mountain ranges with a pointer, I was pushing my classmates away from myself - and I forced myself to moderate my admiration for the structure of the earth's crust and get a four.

I remember portraying cynicism in response to a question about God, huffing and grunting arrogantly in an attempt to demonstrate an independent mindset that (don't tell anyone) reflected the popular worldview that reigned in teenage circles during my formative years. Then came the goths, punks and emo - again the desire to join, dissolve in complete confidence that you are independent, loved, unique. I remember how I even came up with an imaginary guy who caused a stir at the airport, flying to me from Germany with such a huge bouquet of roses that he was not allowed on the plane.

At the same time, I clearly remember how my instinctive reactions in response to rudeness displayed compassion, and how one day I truly felt sorry for the teacher's caustic comment, because I thought: maybe he got up on the wrong foot, had a bad meal or quarreled with his beloved son.

Surprisingly, all my relatives, colleagues, friends, patients everywhere highlight this absurdity of disconnection from my truth in me. My mother, for example, tried to be serious all her life, because her mother told her that only fools are happy. My friend loved to perform - in kindergarten at matinees it was literally impossible to drive her off the stage. One day the teacher told her in parting words that "we must be more modest." My friend got discouraged and asked her inner artist to wait in the waiting room - my friend is almost 30, and her artist is still sitting there.

No matter how many people tell you that they know better for you, that you are helpless, ugly, or stupid, believe me: this is nonsense. Ask your inner kid: what does he think about this?

A friend recently noticed: it is natural for a mentally and physically healthy person to interact with people around them in a friendly manner. When we are small, we can be inspired with anything (out of good intentions, of course). But in addition to all these unshakable truths, maybe it's time to look out the door and invite yourself back from the waiting room?

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