Three Reasons Why Drug Addict Parents Seek Help Themselves

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The indisputable fact is that it is necessary to treat the addict himself. But the reality is that not every addict wants this treatment. And time is passing inexorably. The problems are growing. And you need to do something. And this something should bring real results.

Based on this, I identified three reasons when the address of the addict's parents themselves for psychological help becomes a significant shift in solving the problem:

1. The reason is Suffering

Drug addiction is a disease that affects the whole family. Because it is impossible to stand aside when this happens. It is unbearable to realize that your own child is killing herself every day. And every day the probability of his death is getting higher. The experiences that grip the parents of a drug addict are simply unbearable. As one mother said: “Sometimes it seems like you are going crazy. That there is simply not enough strength to endure all this”.

The child's behavior has changed, he has ceased to be like himself. Constantly lying, coming up with new stories to get the next amount of money. Often aggressive, irritable, or high. It is scary and painful to look at a person who is not interested in anything (except drugs), does not need anything, who does not strive for anything. For a person who has no future …

Both the soul and the body suffer

The addict's parents live in persistent chronic stress. As a result, headaches, migraines, peptic ulcers, cardiovascular diseases, nervous exhaustion, decreased immunity, insomnia and much more.

Being alone with your misfortune is the worst possible solution. In this case, professional help is essential. It is a source of irreplaceable support, an opportunity to see the situation clearly and take the necessary steps.

The acquisition of more internal resources, professional support, internal stabilization can sometimes work wonders.

When we change, the world around us also changes.

It may look extremely striking - when suddenly a son, who completely refused to be treated, comes himself for help, completely ready for changes.

2. Reason - Feelings of guilt

And the thoughts often come: “What happened to my son?”, “What did I do wrong?”, “Where did we miss” …

Parents almost always experience tremendous guilt. They consider themselves to be the cause of the child's illness - they did not love, they did not give enough attention, they were once forbidden, they could not provide the proper financial condition, they did not support, they said little good words, they did not notice, or vice versa - they spoiled, fondled, overly patronized, etc. And this has a number of consequences.

Feelings of guilt become a testing ground for the addict's manipulation. Based on his grievances, he already demands to provide him with money. Heightening the feeling of guilt even more with direct reproaches and accusations. And the parents, being in a state of self-flagellation, cannot refuse him.

Working with drug addicts, I became convinced that their parents did a lot to make the children's life differently. And the choice of drug use is certainly not their fault.

Parental guilt is what interferes with the drug addict's desire for treatment. And this is what you need to get rid of in the first place. Together with a psychologist, this can be done more quickly and efficiently. And also figure out if your fault is just fiction. A crazy attempt to take full responsibility for what is happening.

3. Reason - The addict's unwillingness to be treated

Asking parents for help becomes a vital necessity when the addict himself absolutely does not want to be treated. Of course, parents can forcibly send a drug addict for treatment. But personally, I do not know of a single case when this would lead to the desired result. As a result, it turns out the other way around - an angry son (daughter) begins to use drugs with a vengeance at the end of such a violent treatment. Justifying his lifestyle by righteous revenge on his parents for an unfair treatment. Especially when leaving places where physical force was used against him.

On the other hand, just waiting for the initiative from the addict is walking in a vicious circle of futile attempts to quit on your own and empty promises. So you can never wait. To achieve what you want, you need to act. And such decisive steps are the appeal of the parents themselves for help. We have seen in practice that this gives excellent results.

In the process of such work, it is possible to develop an effective strategy for solving the problem. Eliminate parenting behavior that encourages the addict's use. Build solid boundaries. Influence the desire of the son (daughter) to be treated. This is a wonderful first stage of treatment, the formation of motivation, which flows into the direct treatment of the addict himself. We have repeatedly started with the parents of the addict, and the addict himself was not long in coming for help.