2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I often write about contact with myself, self-love, relationships, emotions. I share what I went through myself, give recommendations and various practices that helped me. I take many situations from everyday life. My idea is to tell in simple words how you can help yourself in a given situation.
Today I want to share what my work helps me every day. In this case, I am talking specifically about work, since the process of psychotherapy, perhaps, was one of the best choices in my life.
So, 10 personal acquisitions in which the profession of a psychologist helps me:
1. I learned to listen to the interlocutor. This helps me not to impose my own experience, and to listen to his story. Also thanks to this, I realized that even if the stories are similar, they are very different.
2. Began to hear better, ie. give an opportunity to speak. Even if the person is distracted, I will remind him of what he was talking about.
3. Learned to interrupt people less. It used to be the norm, especially in the society where I was.
4. I feel my own needs and want my own better.
5. I learned to accept myself, with all the pluses and minuses, oddities, ups and downs. Self-criticism has dropped significantly, while criticism of others is very heavily filtered.
6. I became more conscious in understanding the emotional states of others, and, as a result, I respond less to them with responses.
7. I realized that it is good to defend yourself. Previously, the reaction of others to my actions held me down. I'm talking about rudeness, poor service, providing incorrect information, and a lot like that. In doing so, it is also important to note the pluses. In the same situation, you can file a complaint about one thing and thank you for another. Good, quality employees should be celebrated and thanked. It is also important to monitor your behavior, and if you are wrong, apologize.
8. I have learned to ask myself questions correctly. This helps to understand why certain sensations, reactions, actions arise.
9. Learned to correctly name internal states and analyze them. It helps not to get stuck in unpleasant emotions and not blame others.
10. I clearly realized that I and everything connected with me (words, actions, reactions, emotions) is my responsibility. It became not scary to take responsibility for your life, scared to abandon it and hand it over to circumstances.
And one more discovery in recent months: what was said in a quarrel must be forgotten. More often than not, we cling to the very words that people regret and ask for forgiveness. Many will say that in anger, a person says what he really thinks. I believe that in the process of sorting out the relationship, we all speak from the I-child position. We hurt each other, and everyone hurts, so apart from pain we can give little. We will speak a bunch of unpleasant words to each other, and then it is difficult ourselves from what we have said. In addition to this, we also stab each other with words "taken out" of context and quarrels. Therefore, it is better to protect yourself and your loved one from memorizing phrases spoken in such situations. I think that this is a kind of care for yourself and your neighbors.
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