Panic Attacks As A Relationship Problem

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Why are more people suffering from panic attacks, loneliness, depression, anxiety and fear? It seems to me that the answer to this question lies in the field of relationships, or rather, the violation of human relations with other people, the violation of contact in general with the outside world. If we take society as a whole, as a result of the development of individualism and isolation in society.

The need for belonging (parental and own family, loved one, friends, professional circle) is one of the basic ones, it in turn satisfies others, one of them is the need for safety, security, stability. We can say that accessories create a safe basis for human life and activities, provide an opportunity to develop and cope with difficulties. When this need is not fully satisfied, usually as a result of a relationship breakdown or an insufficiently formed ability to create a sufficiently strong relationship, this creates the prerequisites for the occurrence of panic attacks. It is no coincidence that the experience of loneliness, helplessness and fear of a huge and seemingly hostile world is one of the basic ones in PA.

But the prerequisites alone are not enough for the development of PA. As a rule, this happens during periods of major changes in life, out of necessity or under pressure. Necessity can mature gradually, for example, as autonomy from parents, but nevertheless it is an important and crisis stage in a person's life path. Forced changes in life occur, for example, during periods of family crises, during divorce, loss of loved ones, moving to other cities or countries. To overcome these crisis moments, it is natural that you need stability, a sense of support, foundation, the ability to stand firmly on your feet and push forward. When this foundation is fragile or disappears altogether, a person freezes, unable to move or save himself, experiencing the horror of his own helplessness. By analogy, it can be compared with a person who is trapped in a quagmire in a swamp, there is no foundation, there is nothing to grab onto, and attempts to do something are immersed in the quagmire even more.

A panic attack, in fact, arises as a way of the body to save the human psyche from plunging into psychosis. It is also an indicator of the need for changes in life, especially in the field of relationships.

PA is a disorder that is often very difficult, the symptoms are very individual, although they are similar. It seems to me that the individuality of the manifestation of PA also speaks of the individuality of violations in the field of forming relations with the outside world and oneself. I would also like to draw attention to the ability to feel, understand oneself, one's feelings, needs, feel one's body. As a rule, in the case of PA, this ability is insufficiently formed, there is a low self-esteem, dependent relationships.

To enter into other relationships, he acquires the ability to adapt, to properly cope with feelings of fear, to react emotionally, in fact, acquires a model of relations, with the help of which he further interacts with other people, with the whole world around him. It is in the family, in communication with parents, that the foundation of self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, the foundation of future personal health and success is laid. As a result of belonging to a family, when a child receives good support and support (from both mother and father), he develops an innate and positive strength that allows him to withstand difficulties and cope with them.

At the same time, in a family in which there are constant conflicts and separation of parents, the child experiences a huge deficit in communication, love, support, and the realization of the need for belonging. Parents can be busy making money, career growth, self-realization, finding out the relationship with each other, divorce, finding another partner, drinking alcohol, one of them may leave the family altogether, but ultimately all this affects the child, his integrity as a person, opportunities to enter into relationships, creatively adapt to the environment. If he sees only one model of unhealthy relationships, then he accepts it, inserts it into his consciousness, as the only one, although it brings suffering, but nevertheless for what period of time ensures security and stability and is guided by it in later life.

But the need for belonging, the need for respect, love and support, as well as the need for autonomy and self-realization remain unsatisfied and sooner or later begin to conflict with the embedded attitudes toward life acquired from the parents. If it is impossible to realize these needs, this conflict begins to be expressed in addictions as substitutes, depression from the experience of loneliness, panic attacks as a call for healing relationships.

The development of the Internet and social networks as a means of communication, in my opinion, did not aggravate the situation, but rather made it possible to have and maintain at least some kind of relationship, albeit virtual, but safe. Rather, the Internet has outlined this problem more acutely and has given a kind of surrogate for relationships. With the help of social networks, the need for belonging is realized while a person is online. But going beyond the Internet, he again faces his unresolved conflict, with the impossibility of realizing his needs, with an impoverished emotional life, with his fears and anxiety.

Children who did not have sufficient support and support in the family learn to enter into relationships on their own in the future, rely only on themselves, feel little trust in the people around them and the whole world, do not expect anything good from him. They can demonstrate confidence and resilience, but they have a weak foundation, since they did not receive sufficient support at one time, they deny their weaknesses. When a stressful situation arises (at work or in the family), this confidence can crack or even collapse where there is not enough support.

What solution can be offered? What is the path to recover from panic attacks?

Such a way out can be the replenishment of the experience of healthy relationships that is missing, the experience of receiving support and support from significant people, primarily in therapeutic relationships, in order to build a sense of personality integrity, a real ability to contact, to recreate a healthy sense of belonging initially with the therapist. and in the future and with the environment, learn to trust your weaknesses and build a new self-confidence based on a more solid foundation.