2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I myself have been researching the topic of my relationships all my life. Reflecting, I think, overestimating.
Over the years and with experience, the ability has come to me not to "die" when it comes time to part with a partner. This is relatively painless for me. I manage not to fall into a state of resentment, and I can easily do without the support and understanding of my partner.
Now I have the strength to value myself and enter into conflict if it concerns defending my position and interests.
Relationship with a partner is an important part of my life. And I am aware and appreciate my needs and desires. When I am in a couple, I feel fulfilled in this area. If my relationship is in danger, of course, my emotions swing in the direction of experience, anxiety, excitement. But at the same time, the world does not lose color and life does not lose its significance for me. It used to be quite different.
Now I understand that this is due to the fact that I have learned how to properly deal with pain.
When parting with a loved one, a person creates unbearable, aching, tearing, deadly pain for himself, not even suspecting that he is doing it. And the thoughts that arise in this situation cannot be stopped. They rush, and each subsequent thought causes more pain.
So today I would like to share how it is worth understanding such thoughts so that they do not hurt you.
If we learn to understand the mechanism of how we ourselves create pain for ourselves, then there is a chance to stop doing it. And for this you need to understand why such thoughts arise and what they are about.
Examples of thoughts and how to understand them in order to stop hurting yourself.
Conclusions:
- The pain of parting (breaking up with a loved one) is almost always there. Pain is a natural process of losing something valuable, important, and dear.
- The pain can be prohibitive and unbearable, and it can be useful and serves to help restore resources, be alone with yourself, re-evaluate previous relationships and understand your mistakes.
- Each new relationship can and should be done better. This requires a period of loneliness, which will serve to understand yourself and revise your positions.
- Extreme unbearable pain is the result of neediness, immaturity of the personality, devaluation of oneself, inability to build harmonious relationships.
- To stop feeling intense pain, you need to accept the situation as it is. Let go and thank your partner for what he happened in your life and further: to remember yourself.
- In a period of loneliness and grief, start making your life bright and interesting. Everything that you have done so far for your loved one, now start doing for yourself:
- take yourself to interesting events,
- do yourself nice things.
7. Remember all your desires and write your list, which you begin to implement.
Take yourself for a walk, to concerts, to the theater and in general, do not sit at home a lot.
Make your life really rich and interesting, connect with friends and always learn something new.
If you find it difficult to make a review of a previous relationship on your own, and you do not understand or do not find your mistakes, contact a specialist. He will probably be able to help you.
And, as soon as you feel ready, give your love to the new person.
Relationships are a very important part of every person's life and fulfillment. Every woman and man feels the need to be in a relationship, one way or another. Even if you are self-sufficient, this need will still exist. The need for a relationship can be from a need and form emotionally codependent relationships, or it can arise from a desire for joint realization and energy exchange.
Of course, our partner helps us to deeply realize ourselves as a man or as a woman, and therefore it is natural and normal to want to be in a new relationship.
Relationships need to be learned. And every next relationship can and should be done better than the previous ones.
As long as you have a need for a relationship, you just have to understand yourself, feel what kind of experience and what kind of person you need at this stage and, accordingly, develop in this direction.
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