2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There is an opinion that the psychotherapist himself should have everything perfectly aligned in life, happy relationships, even happier children, a radiant smile on his face and every morning breakfast is as if copied from an advertisement for orange juice and flakes.
Like, what kind of professional he is, if he cannot arrange his life. He must know how to build a relationship, find the meaning of existence, and his favorite job too.
This is only a minimum.
In this case, I immediately recall one metaphor that I really like:
is a real surgeon the only one who can cut out appendicitis for himself?
Not all business consultants are self-employed, and sports coaches are world champions
This may not affect their success or the results of their clients at all.
The criteria for the success of a psychotherapist, first of all, are personal qualities and skills.
Ability to listen and hear, provide enough space for the client, build and test hypotheses, develop a work strategy and adjust it if necessary.
And, of course, one of the main factors in successful therapy is how the client himself is next to this psychotherapist
How much he trusts him, how he feels: calm or anxious, alert, or the therapist generally annoys most of the time.
These are much more valuable points, on which it really depends on what result can be achieved in the course of therapy.
The age of the psychotherapist
Some people believe that only a person who is noticeably older than him will be able to understand the depth of the problem. Allegedly, he lived for more years, therefore he gained more experience.
It seems to me that there is a big delusion here. Your experience with that of your therapist can (and most likely will) be very different. Just as there are no two identical personalities, just as there are no two identical experiences in life.
Even if something similar happened, it was experienced differently depending on the personality traits.
It is not the job of psychotherapy to give out working advice. Although, of course, if it is therapeutic for the client, the therapist can share some part of his life.
The main thing is, together with the client, to reach a unique solution that suits this particular client, in this particular situation
Of course, the inner maturity and depth of the personality of the psychologist is important, then the work will proceed in the right direction.
But in general, if a psychotherapist has attentiveness, sensitivity, is able to empathize, is internally mature and suits you, then what difference does it make which of you is how much older.
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