Be Angry With Health

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This post is in the footsteps of the "Anger - Living and Management Experience" training that took place yesterday and where I was a client. Many thanks from me to the author and organizer of the training, and to everyone who participated in it.

With this article I want to rehabilitate anger. Here is such a modest task for myself.

When consulting clients, I often compare the presence of anger inside everyone with background radiation, which is also always and everywhere. And this radiation in itself is completely safe and natural.

And that's where the similarities end.

Because the anger that is constantly produced in us is stored inside, and does its dirty work - destroys the body, destroys the psyche, destroys relationships, breaking out, usually out of place, at the wrong time; often, in the form of passive aggression:

and sometimes quite openly….

There is such an idea that when you feel anger towards someone, you can not show it, you can disguise it, pretend that you do not feel anything like that towards a person. But it DOESN'T WORK. You can't keep it one hundred percent inside. Something will burst out … It is impossible to be congruent in this, eyes, hands, timbre, breathing, general tension will give you away. And even if a person does not understand what the matter is, he will understand that something is wrong here … If this is a close person, a child, a spouse, a parent, then falsity and understatement will appear in the relationship, the relationship will cease to be close, anger will arise between loved ones hidden, but eager to prove himself.

How can he manifest himself if we do not even want to think that he is in us?

In this case, anger manifests itself in the form of passive aggression. For the first time hearing this term, many are perplexed how aggression, such an active, fast emotion, can be passive. It turns out that there are options for passive aggression, not all, of course, because it can take a variety of forms.

Ignoring:

Manipulations to harm, intrigues:

Gossip:

Late, so that the other will suffer:

Sarcasm, poignant humor, causticity, jokes that hurt:

And all this, more often than not, is not consciously!

Those who live in passive aggression do not think of themselves that they are aggressors. But their partners understand everything, although they do not define such behavior as aggressive.

Only the feelings do not lie, and in response to passive-aggressive behavior, anger appears, and even rage …

When they look at you like a fool, and say nasty things with a sweet smile, but so veiled that you can't immediately find an answer … And the anger is already here. Even if we habitually do not feel it.

And now you live and accumulate anger … In our culture, anger cannot be openly expressed. It is not clear what to do with it, parents did not teach in childhood, and in the midst of their family battles they themselves frightened children so much that they, children, for the rest of their lives made the decision that anger is scary, destructive and terrible. And they became passive aggressors in adulthood (which is more typical for women) or learned to cope with aggression, releasing it in a state of no control, in drunkenness, for example.

Why do I propose to rehabilitate anger?

Because each of us has a need to free the soul from anger, to endure anger outside and to do it so as not to destroy ourselves, another or the environment, things, objects.

The effectiveness of different anger management options depends on what works for YOU.

For someone, a very good way to pour out anger on paper is to write what you think about the person or the situation that caused the anger. In expressions, it is better not to be shy, it is better to write in pencil, and it is better to write on a large, long sheet of paper, so as not to come off to replace one sheet with another, because the anger will begin to cool down and will need to be reheated.

You can also write with a non-dominant hand, for right-handers - with the left, left-handed - with the right.

This paper can be additionally torn or burned.

Another method, which is very suitable for me, is to scream, very loudly, from my stomach, with my whole being. You can pronounce words - words are triggers with which you can start: I hate, unfair, it hurts, I hurt. If it is not possible to shout out loud and loudly, then you can shout into the water or into a pillow. Sometimes, instead of screaming, a growl or howl may come out. Do not be alarmed, this is good and right.

The most dynamic way to release anger is to hit the object against the object.

Better if you combine the two options: hitting and shouting.

What is the best way to hit and what?

You can take a tennis racket, bat, stick and hit on a pillow, on a bag full of rags and papers, on a pear with gloves or a bat. It is important to observe safety measures: to do this so as not to injure your hands by kickback, so as not to break furniture or break something fragile that may be standing nearby.

At the very moment of responding to aggression, completely different internal processes can take place - on the internal screen, faces and events that caused anger can take place, or there may be nothing like that, different places in the body, stomach, back, legs, arms can hurt, just from physical stress, as well as from whether this place can be directly related to anger.

After the process, many are so exhausted that they fall asleep, someone is in prostration and feels weakness and emptiness inside, where anger used to live.

Catching your breath, getting enough sleep, giving yourself the opportunity to return to the outer reality from the inner, this is the task of everyone who copes with anger alone. Be gentle with yourself.

Since we have accumulated a lot of anger during our lifetime, we first need to get these deposits. Then, to use such techniques as a means of psychohygiene and sanitation of the psyche.

In conclusion, I want to say that taking anger into our own hands, allowing it to manifest itself there and when and where we want it, is not an easy task (at first, when it is very scary that anger can destroy something), but quite doable. And the consequences: a feeling of calmness, lightness and satisfaction - as a reward for the brave.

Be angry, friends, more often, in specially designated places and at a specially chosen time for this!