2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Follow-up to the previous article "When there is no support". Another important resource, although what a resource, one might say, is the foundation of the personality! This is a feeling of being needed. That your presence in life is important, valuable, necessary.
The child receives knowledge about his need through the behavior and attitude of the parents. If the child falls, he sees that the mother is worried. He sees that his mother is frightened if he picks up a dangerous object. He feels how his mother is sad (exactly upset, not in anger and not annoyed) if he cries when he is in pain. When mom likes his drawings, when mom is delighted with his achievements: he took the first step, learned to walk on a pot, drew a new squiggle, molded a snowman from plasticine, brought the first "five", etc. What, in general, his life - important, he is not indifferent.
Through the feeling of being needed, parents come to realize, understand, and feel - "I am needed here." My life is not just that. I have a right to be. I AM!
There is a kind of legitimization of the presence in this world, the right to live. And then - a sense of the meaning of life. If my parents need me, the world needs me. And if the world needs me, then I want to do something, because what I do, how I realize myself is necessary and important! The world has a need for me. I am not indifferent to the world. A feeling of one's own significance, one's own uniqueness comes.
But what if there is a crack in the foundation? If the feeling of being needed has not been formed due to hypo-care? What about the feeling that the world does not care if I am or not?
The only way is to become a parent to yourself. Become your own mom. A caring, loving, caring, well-wishing mother. Turn to your inner child and convey to him that I NEED you!
Introduce your inner baby. The child you were as a child. Is he sitting or standing? What is his face? What is he wearing? How does he look at you? Look at these fragile shoulders, thin fingers, palms, look into these defenseless eyes. How do you feel looking at him? What would you like to tell him? If the baby is upset, crying, what would calm him down? Say words to him that would warm a child's heart. Tell your child who lives in your heart that you need him. That you will not give him offense. That he's good. That it is a great happiness that HE IS.
The feeling of being needed does not come in one sitting. To do this, you need to regularly remember your inner baby, talk to him. Pity him, sympathize with him, listen to him, pamper him. The parent is not just the one who gave birth, the parent is the one who cares. Take care of your inner child and over time you will find important changes in your well-being, how you feel.
There will be less fears, it becomes easier to breathe, tension leaves the body, more confidence appears, energy and strength appear somewhere to move, there is a desire to achieve something. After all, the baby got a feeling of being needed. This means that you can create and create for this world, which needs it!
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