2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are many jokes about resistance in therapy, both among psychologists and among the people who turn to them. It can simply be referred to when faced with many of the manifestations of a person in therapy. But is it really that simple? In this article, I want to touch upon such an aspect of work as the client's desire to structure his visit to a psychologist in advance.
In my practice, there were cases when clients came carefully prepared for a meeting. Their story was carefully thought out and structured. Sometimes there is even a list of questions or problems that I would like to solve. This is probably done in order to make the most of the meeting time. This can be especially true for people with an analytical mindset, accustomed to structure and control everything, while avoiding the feeling of uncertainty and, possibly, anxiety that may be associated with it.
But among psychologists there is an opinion with which I rather agree that everything can be more complicated. Diligent preparation, which would seem to indicate a person's readiness for work, in fact, can be a resistance to it. Thinking through the conversation in detail, making up points, you can miss a very valuable thing - the spontaneity of the conversation. And this can play a cruel joke with the therapy process - such preparation will reliably protect you from the appearance of unwanted thoughts and important experiences. Access to what, perhaps, you turned to a psychologist for, will slip away. By following the outlined plan at the meeting, you will be faced with the fact that the most valuable material will slip away and will not be told.
I understand that especially at the beginning of work, I want not to miss anything - to tell more about myself, about my problems, experiences, and I always support the person in this. At the same time, I consider it very important to leave room for the spontaneity of the story, a kind of freedom of movement of thought. Practice shows that this can give an interesting result. When a person comes and says that today he has nothing to tell, it may turn out that it is at this meeting that some very important experience or memory is put into words.
I think that there is no definite answer to the question of whether preparation for a meeting is resistance. Sometimes it is really important to mark yourself what you would like to talk to a psychologist about, because this is your place and space. However, if such a desire occurs over and over again, it is worth asking yourself the question - why are you thinking it over again? Maybe you can try to come to the meeting without preparation, and see what happens?
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