Psychotherapy From The Client. Self Love

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Have you ever wondered why some people are attracted to them like a magnet, you want to look at them, you want to touch them, you want to admire them? And, it would seem, there is nothing special about them, and sometimes their appearance can even be strange and ridiculous, but you are fascinated by these people. Why is that? For me, the answer is simple: “They are pushing away from themselves! They are deeply in love with themselves people!.

Recently, I've been catching myself looking at people I don't know in transport, on the street, in shops, at work, to see how much they are in love with themselves. And now it is really interesting that the appearance, the size of the nose and ears, the plumpness of the lips, the splendor of the chest, the width of the shoulders, the length of the legs matter so little that it is even surprising. It happens, you look at a guy fragmentarily - everything is good in him: both the face is pleasant, and tall, and the body is good, but in general it does not make an impression. On the contrary - he pushes away, from him comes through uncertainty, total doubt in his attractiveness, in masculinity.

And how many beauties surround us who do not understand and do not realize all their charm, find many reasons for self-criticism, completely oblivious to their merits.

And so I keep wondering why this is so? Why often quite attractive people behave like absolutely unattractive people, and this is how they are perceived by others, while others charm and disarm with their charm, although if you consider them also fragmentarily, then there is nothing supernatural in them. It is obvious that we all deep inside have some kind of our own idea of ourselves. We imagine some kind of picture, some kind of image that may have nothing to do with reality, but this representation tyrannically dictates to us our behavior, our manner of behaving, dressing, interacting with others. As the saying goes: "Everything is in the head!". Just imagine, what you think of yourself and what others see in you can change beyond recognition if you change the direction of your thoughts and correct your image of yourself! Amazing, isn't it !?

Where do these images come from in our heads? And why are they all so different? I will not say anything new - it all starts in childhood.

Have you noticed how little kids behave? They just adore themselves. They do not think about how they look, how they will be looked at, they just enjoy life, enjoy themselves, they do not even have a thought that something might be wrong with them. As they grow older, their ideas about themselves and about the world around them can change and this is influenced, first of all, by the closest people - parents.

After all, the child believes that dad and mom are some kind of "supermen" who can do everything, everyone knows, they are never wrong. And if a parent, purely for "educational" purposes, begins to criticize the child, condemn him, shame him, then all this is deposited in the subconscious, forming the very image in our head. Well, the opposite situation, if a child is understood, accepted as he is with his desires, preferences, emotions, peculiarities, if he is simply loved because he is like this, then a self-loving image is formed. All this I mean is that if you have any complaints about yourself, if you are unhappy with yourself, if you don’t like something about yourself, then this does not mean at all that something is wrong with you, that- it is not so with the image that you have about yourself. And there is no problem that this happened, there is a problem that you are not doing anything to change it.

Love yourself, have an affair with yourself. It is easy to say, but how to do it if you have lived most of your life without understanding how it is to “love yourself”?

Start by taking care of yourself. Just imagine, you picked up a dirty, wet, shabby, skinny kitten on the street - there is nothing attractive about it, but you liked it, that's what it is. You brought him home, washed, dried, fed, looked after him, surrounded him with slaughter and warmth, and your kitten transforms, becomes plump and fluffy. Or a flower that was forgotten and withered by everyone - it blooms if you start watering it, fertilizing it, taking care of it.

Everything that we pay attention to and give care to, revives, blossoms, transforms. So do it for yourself, because you are the most important person in your life, the one who will always stay with you, no matter how the circumstances develop. After all, this is really so: life partners can change, children grow up and begin to live their own separate lives, friends can move away, and only you will always remain with you. Feed yourself healthy, quality food. Drink clean water. Allow yourself to go to bed on time, even if not everything is done yet.

Give yourself care procedures - manicures, pedicures, masks, massages. Moisturize your skin with creams, and not just smeared a tyap-blooper, but mentally, with tenderness, enjoying your body and giving pleasure to it. After all, you are a treasure - you deserve it all! Go in for sports, find a way of physical activity that would give you pleasure. And most importantly, do not do what you do not want, do what you want and from which you feel a surge of energy. Understand your self-image, how you have it, whether you like it, why it is the way it is.

Awareness of these moments is already half the battle. If you find it difficult, see a psychologist. After all, knowing yourself, your fears and anxieties, attitudes that prevent you from living a full life and giving up on them is also a manifestation of self-love.