HOW THE PARENTAL PROGRAMS ARE FORMED

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Goats and men

Let's say there is a woman with a generic program of disrespect for men. Even contempt or hatred. They say, they are all horned animals. Where does such a program come from? Mom thinks so, dad behaves like that next to her - and mom shows and explains this to her daughter. The grandmother thinks the same, and from childhood they speak to the baby with words or deeds - be very careful with men, they will certainly hurt you, they are not so necessary, without them it is calmer, they need to be controlled all the time! Or maybe dad is not with the girl at all - and then she is forced to believe in everything that mom says about him. Is she saying something good?

Going into adulthood, the girl already knows what to expect from men, what she needs to be prepared for. And he expects exactly this, understandable and familiar. And it seems that he chooses certain men on purpose, just such, without noticing others.

After all, a man is the one with horns. That is, he must hurt her, a lot of pain, he must be successful in this.

Many years later, she will say that she immediately saw that her future husband was drinking a lot, that even then he raised his hand against her, did not always want to work, it was clearly visible, but she believed that he would change. But in fact - on a subconscious level, this is what she was waiting for, to confirm her program.

Having found a man, she watches him every day. And waits. If he still looks like a good person, then she is waiting with horror and impatience, with fear and interest - when will he give himself away? Show your horns? No matter how good a person he is, sooner or later, he will be wrong. Everyone is wrong. Even if for some little things. But for her it will be a "tragedy." Which she had planned for a long time. He just buys the wrong apples, doesn't wash the dishes after himself, oversleeps an important meeting, and doesn't talk to her mom like that. And then what? She already knows what to do! She knew it! Here! This is all to spite her, he is deliberately shaking her nerves. Why? Because he is of the horned family!

On the other hand, she does not know how to reward a man for something good. She had never seen such a thing at home, and at a bouquet of flowers she would utter a maximum of chuckles about the fact that she does not like roses, but tulips. She just doesn't know what to do with this bouquet. How to rejoice, how to feel worthy of it. And with this man who does not want to become a "goat" and behaves like in good books that she has never read.

Her emotions only come out when he is wrong. In other cases, she is cold and constrained.

A MAN NEEDS EMOTIONS, HE EATS THEM, IS ORIENTED BY THEM. NO EMOTIONS FROM A WOMAN - HE IS IN A STUP, HOW TO RESPOND, HOW TO LIVE. AND IF HE SEES A FLASH ONLY DURING THEIR MISTAKES - THE ERRORS SUDDENLY BECOME MORE. TO MAKE SURE THAT SHE IS ALIVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.

The so-called negative reinforcement can make a good man bleat in a couple of years. And every year there will be less and less flowers - since they do not cause emotions in her. Why waste money, time and nerves?

After a few years of marriage, she comes to the right point - men still have horns, they don't give flowers, they don't help at home, they do everything bad out of spite. And they cause a lot of pain. Maybe they even cheat, in search of living emotions from living women. Is the man to blame for this? Yes, in part. Cannot resist her generic programs and resist her pressure on the subtle plane. In general, of course, they do not find each other by accident.

And most likely, he grew up in a family where his mother hated his father, considered him horny and bad. And she loved and pampered her son very much. Until a certain age. Only bad luck, if a woman has a program that men are "goats", and she raises a son - who can her son grow up to? Either refuses to be a man, or causes pain. And for herself and for women.

And for a minute, imagine what it would be like to be the husband of a woman who subconsciously believes that all men are "goats" and always seems to be waiting for a trick from you. And how could it be? Imagine living with a person who believes that you are the same as everyone else - he is very afraid of this and therefore he is watching you all the time. God forbid you stumble! Feel her mistrust, her fear, her tension. And to see how she even seems to be happy every time you cannot be a man, you cannot keep a promise, make her happy. And how can you make such a woman happy? Only by her departure, because then it will become much easier for her to live.

HERE AND THE PERMANENT PROGRAM. HAS BEEN HAPPENED FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION. FROM MOTHER TO DAUGHTER. IT IS NOT REALIZED YET - IMPOSSIBLE TO CHANGE. AND YOU REALIZE - THERE IS A CHANCE. AND EVERYTHING IS TALKABLE AND UNDERSTANDING, NO FINE ENERGIES. JUST EVERYTHING WHICH IS INSURED UP TO 7 YEARS AFFECTS THE ENTIRE LIFE REMAINING.

Humiliating requests

Or another option. Smaller program - asking is humiliating. But her influence is not much less and it is becoming more common. The woman believes that asking is humiliating. Especially with a man. Especially money. Mom taught her this. That if a man gave you money, you have to work it out later. And to depend on a man is dangerous - because he has horns (see the previous version), and no one knows when and how he will decide to use them. Therefore, you need to make sure that you never have to ask for anything. And now she is married. Working. Have their own money. Everything is fine. It goes on maternity leave - and suddenly there is no personal money. The child allowance is minimal. The husband supports the family. And she? Feels like a dependent, not entitled to all this, internally tense because of this. And "suddenly" tights are torn. For almost six months she grabbed them wherever she could, so as not to buy new ones (there is no personal money). You need to go and ask your husband for money. On tights. Nightmare! How does a woman who is doing well with self-esteem and requests? Easy, between times. Not attaching much importance. Just as he asks for money for bread or milk. Or just in the supermarket, in addition to the necessary products, he will also take tights. What is so special about it? And if she has such a virus inside, that the request is humiliating? There are many options.

• Those who do not know how to ask often begin to demand right away. That is, they immediately approach your husband, they say, you must. The husband from this usually goes berserk - and does not give. From which she feels humiliated.
• She can also ask covertly, hint, and be offended that he does not understand anything. And then, with this resentment, pounce on him - and get some offensive answer.
• Such a woman does not know how to choose the time, place and circumstances for the request. She climbs on purpose when it is impossible to climb in any case. When he is already tired, already angry or already tense. She sees and understands all this, but in spite of the sign “don't get in, kill,” she climbs.
• Maybe she'll bill right away. Like, I'm cleaning up here, I'm feeding you, give me money! Again, a man is unlikely to appreciate such an impulse and show delight in shaking out his wallet in her palms.
• Accusations - sometimes it seems that if the husband is made guilty, it will be more convenient. She will not dare to refuse tights and dresses. That is, to find where he spends money "in vain and wrong" - and poke-poke-poke. Like, your car eats up half of your salary! And also your sports club, to which you only go from time to time! And my wife has nothing to buy tights at this time! What will a man do? Throwing yourself into the store for tights? Well, yes, of course.
• And she can just be silent and wait for him to guess. I must guess. She sees holes in his socks - and sews or buys new ones for him. So he should. But he won't guess, an ordinary man will never guess himself. And it really hurts her - what kind of love is this?

More often than not, she is silent like this, waits, and then explodes. And immediately - the accusations "you do not love me", invoicing, "I work so hard", to which men usually respond with the words: "but I did not ask you about this! Do not want to do not! ". Is it humiliating? And how! This means that all my work at home is worthless and is not needed by anyone. And I myself too …

And in fact, in this case, her subconscious goal is not to buy pantyhose, because just buying pantyhose is easy. You go to the store and buy. She needs to "feed" her program about the humiliation of requests. And tights are a surprisingly handy tool for that. To then cry that she asked for all the tights, but he did not guess, refused, ridiculed, scolded. The program is backed up. She won't ask again. So she will be afraid all her life to remain in such a vulnerable position in front of her own husband …

I'm all by myself

Another option (continuing the topic) is the “do it all” program. Can easily grow out of the previous two options. It is very common and very difficult to treat.

For example, there is a woman who has a husband and children. Working. Tired. Waits for help from them, but silently - otherwise it humiliates, remember? Waiting for a year. Another. The third. The strength is running out. I came home from work - cook, clean, and they rest and scatter. Suffers with all his might - and then an explosion! How tired of you all! You are all parasites! No help from you! I'm tired! I gave everything to you, and you are ungrateful!

And couldn't you just ask for help? Apart from everyone around you as telepaths and people with extremely high empathy? Frankly speaking - I'm tired, it's hard for me, help, clean up? And you can't come home from work and fall on the sofa yourself, despite your hungry husband and a dirty house? Fall down and say - can't I take it anymore?

It is forbidden. Because there is a program that no one will ever help, and you need to do everything yourself. Even if they do, they do not. The corners will not be washed, the potatoes will be cut thickly, the plates will be put in the wrong piles. Therefore, you have to do everything yourself. It's easier this way - not to explain anything to anyone and not to redo it.

Then, maybe, well, these are not rubbed corners and thick potato slices, eh? If mom is resting at this time, and the children are learning to be independent? How else will they one day learn to cut thinner and wash better?

What is more important - perfect cleanliness under the rim of the toilet or relationship? Correctness or opportunity to learn and grow?

Once in our history there were periods when women of that time had to do everything themselves. When men died in the war, when men disappeared during this very war, it was necessary to live somehow. And for a grandmother or great-grandmother, this skill saved lives and was useful. And it is needed. But 50 years have passed, and there are enough men around. We could have let go of the reins. But no way. Does not work. Such programs are not prescribed, there is no such experience in girls before their eyes. Most mothers are still strong, all by themselves. They learned this from their mothers, they did not give in to their husbands, they were crushed by themselves or survived from the family. And that's all. Otherwise, she no longer knows how. And strives for an option that is understandable for her.

And an understandable option is when I will do everything myself. I will do better than if someone helps me. I will do it faster, I will do it more correctly. Even if it costs me all my life force. No matter.

“ALL YOURSELF” - THIS IS THE MOST SCARY WOMAN'S TOOL FOR THE DISRUPTION OF SOCIETY AND RELATIONSHIPS. BECAUSE IF SHE DOES EVERYTHING, THERE IS NO OTHER NEED TO BECOME BETTER, THERE IS NO NEED TO LEARN SOMETHING AND DO SOMETHING. AND THIS SHE IS DESTROYING HIMSELF WITH EXCESSIVE LOADS.

Boys who grow up with such mothers get used to the fact that everything is decided and done by a woman. And they, growing up, do not understand, but how else? Even if there is this desire within them - to lead, but there is no skill. They need to learn this, but who will give it? After all, she is already nearby, who knows how to lead from the cradle. The one who is "all by herself" in the fifth generation.

And that same “all by herself” dreams of relaxing, resting, finding a strong shoulder. But most likely, this will not happen. After all, she will have to abandon her ideas about life, from her program. Letting a man not only make decisions, but also make mistakes. Allow herself not only to ask and accept help, but also to rejoice, even if everything is not done the way she would have done it herself. Etc.

Until she realizes where her program came from, when and to whom she helped, it makes no sense to seek happiness. But realizing that it was very important and necessary for my grandmother or great-grandmother, that in her life it was impossible otherwise, and it saved her life, there is a chance. Thank you, grandmother, for being me. I am grateful to you for the price you paid for this. Thank you! But I no longer need such a program. Thank you!

And then - the daily practice - to ask, to rejoice at what has been done - even if it is slow and imperfect. Give thanks and ask again. Delegate. Learn to trust bit by bit. Learn to communicate. Learn to accept. Learn to realize that you are worthy of all this. And help, and gifts, and love, and care.

AND FOR THIS DO NOT NEED ANYTHING SPECIAL TO DO. FOR THIS DO NOT NEED TO KILL AT WORK AND BREAK INTO A BIG HOUSE. NOT NECESSARY FOR THIS FEATS AND HEROISM. DON'T NEED TO BE PERFECT AND PERFECT. IT'S ENOUGH TO BE SINCERE. ALTHOUGH PLEASE IT'S MUCH DIFFICULT.