2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Accept me for who I am - says the person. Am I rude? Arrogant? Conceited? Don't appreciate you? Lost on you? Do I consider myself taller? Screaming at you? I don’t respect your opinion? Yes, I am like this. You have to accept me for who I am, you cannot change me, I have always been that way. There's nothing you can do about it, I have such a character. I am like that because I grew up on the street, it’s too late to change anything. I told you the truth about you and that I think you shouldn't be angry.
… and other phrases in the book A Thousand Ways to Shrug One's Own Responsibility by Misinterpreting the Ideas of Psychology.
The global popularization of psychology in recent years has led to the fact that many ideas and concepts are understood superficially and primitively. Which becomes a great way to relieve yourself of responsibility for your behavior.
In this article, I want to touch on phrases and their variations, such as:
1. Take me for who I am.
2. I cannot be changed, I have always been like that.
3. I have such a character.
4. It's too late to change anything.
5. The "reason" is why I am.
6. I tell you the truth as it is.
What's really going on:
1. To accept a person as he is means to perceive him objectively, not idealizing. Consider his shortcomings and negative qualities, but not condemn them. And this does not mean at all that you should like it, and that you should want to communicate with him.
Saying "accept me like this" usually means that a person does not care how it is for another, because he must perceive me with my shortcomings and be loyal to them. Usually it appears in the relationship of a couple, where it also means "love me as I am."
In these cases, personal responsibility for your unacceptable behavior is transferred to another person, because whatever my behavior is, you must accept it and not reproach me. Therefore, I can behave as I want, because you have to accept me by anyone.
An example of logic to understand: when it rains, it is cold, chilly and humid, but you should speak positively about it, no matter how you feel about it.
2. In this case, the transfer of responsibility occurs due to its transfer to the past. Logic: all my behavior is conditioned by my past, the past cannot be changed, therefore, I cannot be changed either. Therefore, I am no longer responsible for what I do.
Of course, you can change your behavior “here and now”. When, if not in the present?
An example of logic: since sand has got into the water, it can no longer be cleaned.
3. Removal of responsibility due to the concept of constancy. The character is formed in childhood, but this does not mean at all that it does not change over time. What is slow is another matter.
An example of logic: the last 10 days it was raining, so today it will also rain.
4. The idea that there are time limits for changes. Of course, at a more mature age, this process is more rigid, but it is quite possible.
An example of logic: in a month the tree has grown and therefore will not grow further.
5. Transfer of responsibility to life circumstances. Yes, they are the cause, but they cannot fully justify the behavior “now” (see point 2).
6. To tell the truth, in this case, turns into "I say whatever I want and in any form." Here the responsibility for what was said is transferred to the fact that it is true, which means there is nothing to be offended at. There are 2 aspects to consider here: essence and form.
The essence of the truth spoken by a person is often only true for the person who said it. Since this concept is very relative and subjective (in the relationship of people), there are many contradictions about what is true. It is important to understand what "truth" is for each specific person. Otherwise, it can turn into "I think so, it means it's true."
The form of truth or any other information can be completely different. At the very least, it can be destructive or constructive. Not to mention the angle and scale. For example, you can express dissatisfaction about behavior: "What the hell are you acting like an asshole?" or "I feel discounted when you do this." Which completely changes the approach to communicating the "truth".
Recommended:
My Life, My Choice, My Responsibility
How often do you meet people who complain about life? I think every day … I'm talking about people - "children" or "victims". Such people usually talk about their own life that everything is wrong: there is no money, the husband is bad, the wife is a bitch, there is no work, I get sick all the time … well, in general, everything does not go well … And if you ask such a person, what is wrong, why does this happen?
Are Feelings Of Guilt And A Sense Of Responsibility Two Sides Of The Same "coin"?
This topic is as eternal as it is serious. Feelings of guilt destroy us from the inside. It makes us puppets, weak-willed pawns in other people's games. It is on him, like on a hook, that manipulators catch us. But you hardly thought about the fact that the feeling of guilt experienced by a person is the flip side of another, not destructive, but quite constructive personality trait - a sense of responsibility.
You're Lucky! Or How To Stop Taking Responsibility For Your Life
- Well, of course, it's easy for you to say, how lucky you are with your husband !! - You're lucky, you have a car, you don't need to drag along minibuses … - Of course, I would also be successful with the peasants with such a figure, you're lucky.
Vulnerability And Responsibility Part 2 (connection Between Sacrifice, Dependence And Lack Of Responsibility)
In the previous part, we briefly looked at how lack of responsibility and decision-making skills are correlated with mental retardation. That women, due to social upbringing, have more problems with these skills than men. Therefore, therapy in men is more often faster and easier.
DELEGATE IT! SHIFTING RESPONSIBILITIES HELPS GET MORE
For a variety of reasons, it is extremely important for many people to do everything themselves. But practice shows that it is much more effective to work together: this way you can save personal time and achieve better results. Whatever responsibilities you face in your work and life, the only sure way to overcome the inaccessible mountains is to arm yourself with support.
