How To Enable Wishlist And Motivation? Or How To Start WANTING And WISHING Again

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If you look at people, you can see how some people with joy and pleasure do some kind of action in life, become active and get results, and there are people who seem to be asleep, their life just passes by year after year, practically nothing changes. They do not have fuel, vital energy that would help them move through life. They have no "Primary Motivation"

This motivation is primarily responsible for the initial desire to want. She is responsible for the need for play, for entertainment, for structuring her time.

In psychology, there is such a thing as the ego state. So there are three ego states (parent, child and adult), each of them is responsible for a specific function.

Functions of the psyche:

The parent's function is to take care of oneself and others, teach and explain, control, observe social principles, rules, norms and prohibitions, approve and criticize, etc.

The function of the child is to want, desire, motivate us and act; to give life brightness and richness, the inner child is responsible for spontaneity and naturalness, to create new things, to create, fantasies and ideas.

The function of an adult is to be in a conscious state, negotiate, adapt, correspond to reality, consider desires, plans and events in general from the standpoint of common sense and benefit, analyze and calculate options, act in the most effective ways that a person knows.

If a person does not want anything, then most often there are problems with this type of motivation. Problems stem from the failure of the inner child.

Who is to blame for everything?

Social programming and parents in childhood suppress and deform the child's motivation by ignoring his spontaneous aspirations in his endeavors, his desires and needs.

Prohibitions. They are often the reasons why there are problems with this type of motivation. Someone was beaten on the hands, someone was constantly being told “no, bad, don’t climb, don’t touch, don’t walk, don’t try, it’s dangerous, etc.” at almost every action.

Thus, raising from a child an obedient slave with many prohibitions and social restrictions. And as a consequence of such negative upbringing, a lack of basic primary motivation is formed in adulthood. Such phrases form fetters with which a person can live the rest of his life if he does not know what and how to do.

Such changes occur both at the level of the psyche (psychic energy ends) and at the level of physiology (those parts and areas of the brain that are responsible for primary motivation, for the wish are de-energized).

“Primary motivation” can and should be “Included”. And then the suppressed, constrained energy will be released and energy and forces will automatically appear. Interest in life will awaken. The psyche will no longer block itself.

Must, Must, Must:

If a person was constantly told what and how to do. As a result of such upbringing, the skill of independence does not develop and the primary motivation is clogged or simply atrophies as unnecessary.

So that the psyche does not go into the ragtag from conflicting needs and desires (when you want one thing, but they say to do another). It just turns off primary motivation. And a person has no desire to live his life as he wants. Instead, it is already dictated what a person "SHOULD" do, how "CORRECT" and what he "SHOULD" do.

What's the catch?

And even when a person achieves all that "SHOULD" - he does not feel any non-procedural, not final pleasure from the work done. It seems that I learned to earn money and some kind of relationship. But there is no one of the most important components for a happy life - there is no desire to live, to want, to know the world around and to get pleasure at the same time. And without this, life becomes boring, gray, and possibly "Correct", but it does not please.

Magic pill or is there something else …

If there is no “primary motivation”, there is no energy and desire to want and do anything at all. In other words, there is no key to healing. And no matter what a person does, the car will not go until the keys are returned to the ignition again.

When this motivation works well, then you can engage in strategic planning - competently set goals and implement them. Because a person knows what he wants - he has a good contact with himself. Desires and needs awaken in him. Hands are itching to do something, there is a reserve of strength and energy for the realization of desires. Life is moving in the right direction.

What to do?

In order for the primary motivation to work well - it gave vitality, motivation and interest in life. In this case, you need to work with the structures of emotional intelligence. It is necessary to restore the work of the inner child at the level of the psyche, and at the level of the body, conventionally speaking, “Turn on” those areas of the brain that have ceased to work. That is, you need to re-launch the signals that are blocked.

It is necessary to make sure that those areas of the brain that are responsible for this primary motivation work, so that the psyche returns to the correct initial state, when everything is "OK". So that the desire to set and achieve goals was natural, the motivation to do this was formed not only and not so much consciously, but from the depths of the soul and body. Then life will be pleasing and fulfilling.

That's all. Until next time. Respectfully yours, Dmitry Poteev.