Where Do You Find Them? Or Psychopaths Among Us

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Men who are exhausted by their relationships with hysterical wives and women who are exhausted by their husbands-psychopaths come to see me. My clients are wonderful people: kind, gentle, caring, responsive, responsible, etc. In communicating with them, I involuntarily had a question: "Where do you find them, where do you get them from?"

I started looking for an answer and found that the number of psychopaths in modern society is growing.

8 obvious reasons for the development of psychopathy

1. Watching cartoons with scenes of violence and deviant behavior. A child under 7 years old does not have critical thinking skills, he perceives patterns of behavior as acceptable in his life and imitates his favorite characters.
2. Interest of adolescents in computer games with violence, cruelty and murder. The law of feelings states that even in a fictional (virtual) situation, a person experiences real bodily feelings. A teenager, playing violent games, regularly trains in aggressive behavior, he will be prone to violence and cruelty.
3. Lack of a healthy climate at home. Children grow up imitating those around them, as parents pass on psychopathic behaviors to them.
4. Lack of quality family relationships … In a close, sincere and trusting relationship, there are no psychological problems in a person's life. The basis of the psychological problem is the violation of interpersonal communication.
5. The social environment that forms malignant courage … In a certain society, vulnerability, vulnerability, the need for close and sincere relationships are considered weakness. Such character traits as attentiveness, kindness and caring are reproached.
6. Mass fatherlessness … A study led by Professor Gabriella Gobbi at McGill University of Canada argues that parenting leads to increased aggression and abnormal interactions with others. Fatherlessness is not only the complete absence of a father, when a mother is raising a child alone, but also a "dead" father. In fact, the dad can even live in the same apartment with the children, but at the same time be removed from upbringing, not participate in the life of his children (alcoholics, drug addicts, workaholics, and even dads, who are so carried away by clarifying the relationship with his wife that they forgot about the children) … On the other hand, a child may not have a physical father, but a grandfather, uncle, or older brother takes care of him, giving the child male upbringing and healthy behaviors.
7. Inability to create your own results in life leads to an unmet need for strength. Lack of understanding of their needs and lack of knowledge of socially acceptable ways to satisfy them leads to disastrous consequences.
8. Not knowing the signs of psychopathy leads to the fact that people easily enter into a love and marriage relationship with a psychopath. In these relationships, children appear who adopt patterns of abusive behavior. Thus, statistics say that a psychologically healthy man has an average of two children, and a psychopathic man has four children in the general population.

What to do?

I. Distinguish psychopathic behavior in "nice" people

The psychopathic personality has certain traits:

1. Impulsiveness. Impulsiveness is considered an instant rash action. But this is not the case. Psychopathy is not a disease or a dysfunction of the cerebral cortex. Psychopathy is a chosen model of behavior that allows you to get what you want in spite of everything and in spite of everything. Here, by impulsiveness, I mean the absence of fear of the consequences of their actions and the absence of internal restrictions on immoral and criminal behavior.
2. Aggressiveness. Violent behavior designed to harm someone or something. If a child tortures animals, mocks insects, hurts those who are weaker or helpless; breaks, spoils and sets fire to objects, then urgently take measures to correct behavior. The psychopath takes pleasure in seeing the suffering of another person and uses every opportunity to hurt or harm.
3. Ruthlessness. Psychopaths lack empathy, they are unable to put themselves in the shoes of another and show empathy.
4. Dishonesty … Psychopaths always cheat. In the web of their stories, it is easy to get confused so much that you cease to understand where the truth is and where the fiction is. Do not try to figure it out, most likely there is no truth at all (no matter how realistic the story looks).
5. Self-centeredness … It is characteristic of the thinking of an 8-10 year old child. If the personality does not develop, then the person “gets stuck” at this age, not realizing that the people around him have their own feelings, desires and needs.
6. Failure to care for others … Every normally developing child at the age of 6-7 has a need to take care of others. He seeks to take care of mom, dad or grandmother, asks to give birth to a brother or sister, buy a dog or a kitten. Parents do not always recognize this need and support its development. Cruel or indifferent treatment of the child in the family leads to the fact that this need is not formed or is lost. In modern society, aimed at material success and commodity-money relations, people cease to feel themselves as individuals, and more often perceive themselves and those around them as a means or instrument to achieve certain goals.
7. Failure to comply with established agreements. The life principle of a psychopath: either in my opinion or in no way leads to the fact that no matter what agreements you create with him, the result will be predictable: the psychopath will do it his way!
8. Craving for thrills, vibrant emotions and risk … Psychopaths use situations to feel like they are on the edge of a razor or the crest of a wave. Tantrum, scandal, the ability to unbalance a loved one or drive him to madness gives them a sense of omnipotence and superiority over the victim.
9. Disrespect for other people's work, values, personality and human life. A psychopath easily spoils other people's property, solves his problems at the expense and to the detriment of others, does not value relationships, health or the life of loved ones.
10. Bad relationship with relatives, colleagues, there are no real friends.

II. Psychopathy is not a disease

The psychopath has good mental health and achieves his goals in any way, up to the physical destruction (murder) of a loved one. To do this, he is capable not only of spontaneous hysterical behavior, blackmail and manipulation, but also of thoughtful schemes to destroy obstacles on the way to the desired.

III. Psychopathy is a way to satisfy the need for strength

The psychopath, torturing and tormenting the victim, experiences great pleasure in his superiority. Control over a weak partner gives a sense of significance, up to and including omnipotence. For the manifestation of psychopathic behavior, the belief in their own safety and impunity is important.

Conclusion:

• If you find yourself in a relationship with a psychopath, break it off as quickly as possible. You cannot treat his behavior condescendingly or philosophically, indulging and resisting a psychopath can end in disaster. Your desire to protect yourself by involving third parties (parents, friends, police) will turn into the other side of the coin: the psychopath will build a situational plan in which you will be guilty (incited, provoked an “innocent person” to harm you).
• If you are still choosing a life partner, be vigilant and do not let money, good looks or great sex turn a blind eye.

I wish you a happy relationship. If there is no happiness, come for a consultation.