I Don’t Want A Husband

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Many women attending my trainings ask the same question: “What to do? How to want a husband again? I love him, but I don't want sex … "

This problem is addressed by very young women who have recently married, and more mature, and girls who have not long ago given birth to a child, and have not yet given birth.

What happens to sexual desire? Why is it disappearing?

More often, sexual cooling builds up gradually. However, it can also arise suddenly, for example, as a reaction to treason, and sometimes only a suspicion of infidelity is enough.

Lack of sexual desire is called aversion.

Aversion can be total (when you don't want sex at all) or selective (when you have sexual desire, but I don't want a particular man, a husband, for example).

In typical cases of cooling, the frequency of sexual intercourse decreases to 1-2 times a year or less. And if the problem is not solved, then this, as a rule, leads to a complete rupture of relations.

The reasons for this phenomenon are very diverse. Let's try to figure them out.

DISAPPOINTMENT IN A PARTNER

We met, fell in love with each other. When they met, sex was stormy and passionate, although it was not always possible to satisfy the passion. And this also spurred on, because the less you have, the more you want it!

But active courtship ended, a life together began. Young spouses get to know each other better, there are claims, disputes, quarrels. And at this stage, the woman's expectations, her ideas about marriage, about her husband may not coincide with reality. The romance has gone somewhere, and the habits and characteristics of the partner, which are still not familiar, have appeared. A loved one opened up from an unexpected side.

Expectations did not come true … the woman is disappointed, feels deceived. "This is not how I imagined family life …" I was disappointed that in the end it could lead to a chill. The number of sexual contacts is decreasing. At first it is not noticeable (tired, getting up early, feeling unwell … etc.), and then she discovers that there is simply NO desire.

Offenses

Lack of attention from the husband, reproaches, quarrels, betrayal (or suspicion of them) - all this, accumulates, the conflict between spouses is growing. Negative feelings that are suppressed or hushed up gradually begin to make themselves felt by the disappearance of interest in sex.

INJURY

Humiliation during sex by a partner, rudeness, rape, previous troubles associated with sex, not a successful first sexual experience, etc. are serious psychological trauma for a woman.

PSYCHOLOGICAL CAUSES

A woman's sexual attraction is influenced by her mood, the presence of a child or other people near the bedroom, improper sex education, and shyness. Lack of emotional attachment to a partner, feelings for another man.

Psychological prohibitions and taboos. If you were raised in the spirit of sex is filth, then problems with attraction are more than likely.

Your priorities are also important, for example, “career first, then children” and a woman unconsciously strives to avoid sexual intercourse for fear of getting pregnant.

Or another option: "The main thing in the family is the children!" and a woman willingly has sex before pregnancy, and after the birth of a child, she loses sexual interest in her husband. Mission accomplished! She doesn't need sex anymore.

Option: "Sex with my husband is an annoying necessity, you have to endure …" But if there is an opportunity to avoid it, she will certainly use it.

Various fears, anxieties, incorrect information about gender relations, a huge variety of psychological attitudes … It is necessary to deal with each woman individually.

PHYSIOLOGICAL FACTORS

For example, hormonal changes after childbirth can lead to the extinction of desire, as well as during pregnancy or breastfeeding.

Taking certain medications (antidepressants, hormonal contraceptives, etc.).

Mental and physical fatigue.

Some diseases: depression, anxiety disorder, neuroses, stress, chronic fatigue, vitamin deficiency. Compliance with some diets.

Vaginal sensitivity may decrease due to excessive vaginal enlargement due to childbirth or other causes.

UNDERSTANDING MAN

If the man pays little attention to his appearance at home, this can also be the reason for the decrease in the sexual desire of the spouse.

Earlier, at the beginning of the relationship, she saw him in full dress, and now he sits at the computer, not shaved and in his underwear not the first freshness …

He is no longer a knight in shiny armor, no longer evokes those emotions and … the desire has faded.

And sex with a man who neglected hygiene procedures can discourage the desire to make love to him FOREVER.

Tactile sensitivity is even more important, even three days of stubble can be critical. Bad breath or bad breath or sweaty feet can be a powerful cure-all.

A possible cause for your partner's body odor change is a medical condition or certain medications. At the same time, he may be fresh from the shower, but your nose still reacts to these changes.

ALCOHOL

Alcohol abuse and its consequences in the form of rudeness, unpleasant smell, etc. also one of the major reasons for the decline in attraction to a man.

DIFFERENT NEEDS FOR SEX

Sexual technique inadequate for you, rude behavior of a man during intimacy, lack of foreplay, too short for you, the duration of intercourse and much more. Cooling often occurs after attempts to persuade a woman to unacceptable forms of sexual intercourse (anal sex, group sex, etc.)

One of the reasons is the impossibility of having an orgasm in a woman due to premature ejaculation from a partner, which ultimately gives her a reluctance to intimacy. If the man is not treated and the situation does not change, the feeling of resentment, annoyance and complete cooling towards the husband join the disappointment.

Sexual life is not at all separated from everyday life. A woman needs psychological contact with a man during the day. Without an appropriate emotional mood, everything that happens can be perceived by her as purely mechanical, indifferent or even unpleasant actions.

Women's sexual coldness also affects the psyche of a man. A man may experience psychological problems and urological diseases that will cause a decrease in potency.

Sexual coldness is a form of marital disharmony and requires individual examination and treatment.

Remember, the day is born out of the night!

Your E. N.