2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-07 22:18
At the beginning of every acquaintance, without exception, there is something mystical. Just imagine, two people are riding in a jam-packed subway car, the train swayed, just like them towards each other, their breathing stopped, their eyes met and … and nothing happened. Why is it possible to find a lifelong friend in the scandal of a dirty line at the pub, but not on a dating site that seemingly aims to bring seekers together? And because you do not need to curse fate, you just need to sit down and think about what we actually want from ourselves, from another, from the circumstances. What we're looking for: no-obligation sex, a dream job, a travel companion, Michelangelo's turtle, an apartment in Barcelona, a pen pal, a Mayan dummy and you never know. Because our desires determine both our capabilities and our subsequent actions. So how to find someone who is close to you in spirit and is able to become a friend or life partner? Let's set the possible options for starting an acquaintance.
We seem to have met somewhere?
Who said that getting started is bad? No, it immediately calms you down, gives you time to take a closer look and think about whether it is worth persisting further and developing an acquaintance. If you yourself are the initiator of the beginning of a relationship, be prepared for a non-trivial continuation, for the fact that to this question the girl you like will answer without batting an eye: “Perhaps. The point of a banal start is to relieve the tension at the start of an acquaintance, even if it's a job interview. But a banal start does not mean the same continuation.
What was meant: It's hard for me, I'm very worried, play along with me.
The well-known beginning of dating is calming and gives the opportunity to enter into a relationship gradually
WHERE IS THE NOPHELET?
A great opportunity to immediately prove yourself and grab the attention of another is to surprise him. It doesn't matter what - whether it is a question, interest in something, strange behavior, an unexpected turn of the conversation. Like the hero of the film of the same name, you can, with your own courage, earn both admiring glances and the rapid flight of your chosen one, so it is so important not to overdo it (try not to violate the boundaries of reason, remain positive and not become dangerous and frightening) and carefully monitor the reaction of the interlocutor … Unexpected paradoxical behavior is also a form of relieving stress when dating, which masks self-doubt, liberates, makes adrenaline suppress fear and creates a reason for further communication.
What was meant: I want to impress you (I have a tried and tested method and it always works).
Spontaneity, surprise and paradoxical behavior suppress inner insecurity and attract attention, which is important to keep
HOW DO I GET TO THE LIBRARY?
When you don't want to explicitly make your intentions clear and you understand that the object of your interest is not aimed at acquaintance, you can use a workaround: to involve the interlocutor in a situation of joint action and latently obtain information that allows you to find common ground. So you will disguise your intention, and the situation will create the community of interests and goals you need. Inevitably, such a start of acquaintance leads to other scenarios, which you will have to choose according to further circumstances.
What was meant: I'll try to start, and maybe something will work out
By disguising your intention, you can learn more about the interlocutor and get to know someone who might not initially have been aimed at acquaintance
GIRL CRYING IN THE AUTOMATIC
What could be nicer than feeling needed? The track, a confused young lady next to a punctured wheel - and then you rush past. Stop! I can prove myself! A sense of self-worth, solving a common problem, enjoying the benefit of the business, expecting gratitude and, finally, a repaired car - of course, all this can be the beginning of a wonderful acquaintance. Another beginning when a real personal drama becomes a reason is parting with a loved one. Here, too, there is a need to help, to become someone who will not hurt, who will listen and lend a shoulder, heal wounds. But is it always so interesting? Alas, often people deliberately adjust such situations and begin to systematically parasitize on your responsiveness. A woman whose husband is in a long "search for himself", a young man whose girlfriend constantly gets into trouble and has to be rescued is not a rarity, but a deliberate life strategy.
What was meant: The black cloak (Superman or whatever you like) hurries to the rescue!
Acquaintance can be successful when it is built on mutual help, a common goal, but make sure that solving someone's problems is not the only content of the relationship
LONELY ONLINE
With the advent of the Internet, a whole special world has opened up for humanity. Hundreds of works are devoted to communication on the Web, so we will consider only some of the features of online dating. It should be borne in mind that the Internet creates an environment where a person is depersonalized, anonymous, relieved of the need to appear as he is, which is both good and bad. These conditions leave an imprint on any form of Internet communication. The fragmentation, isolation of communities, narrow specialization of interests and at the same time a kaleidoscope of superficial connections and contacts of various kinds make the search for a like-minded person similar to the search for a needle in a haystack. However, the Web creates a lot of opportunities to structure your search - sites summarize contacts by various parameters, carry text, visual and audio information, and this is the way to find someone who is close to you by your interests. Online dating has undeniable advantages - you can, while maintaining your distance, get to know a person closely enough, get acquainted with his sphere of interests, understand preferences, the plus is that each question and answer can be thought over, there are fewer opportunities for conflicts. A serious danger of online dating is that, "stuck" in network communication, a person falls into the trap of the illusion of having many friends and a fulfilled life, but at the same time he never gets beyond the screen of his computer. Of course, no online dating is meaningful if it has no continuation in real life.
Advice: competent speech, attention to the words of the interlocutor and a sense of humor will make communication on the Internet much more enjoyable and successful.
What was meant: I’ll wait and get to know you better to see if I should show myself.
Internet acquaintance makes it possible to purposefully search for people by interests, which, however, does not guarantee that the person you have found can become a reliable life companion
A HOLIDAY ROMANCE
Contrary to popular belief, you can bring from the resort not only souvenirs, an unknown infection and sunburn, but also a lasting marriage for many years. And the plus and minus of vacation dating in a special state of mind, when you are relaxed, satisfied with yourself and less prone to criticism. It makes it easier to find interlocutors, to seem better than you are, and to see life in pink. The simplest thing on vacation is to be like an akyn: "what I see, I sing about that", talk about the weather, the state of waves, food in the nearest cafe, sights, or even use a trick - lure the person you like into the snare of mutual help: rub the back with cream, a sunbed rearrange, share a map of the area. You look, already talking about this and that, you shine with wit and depth of erudition. Some unique ones manage to maintain this state of flight of the soul for a long time after rest, which facilitates grinding and reduces tension in the couple. That would seem to be the secret that you can use and live happily for yourself. But no! Everyday life, skepticism and grumbling are piling up - lightness as if it had happened. If you really can't maintain a romantic mood, then melt your relationship into friendship, become happy companions, travel.
What was meant: I feel so good, let's enjoy it together, and no matter how it ends.
Rest makes us easy-going, pleasant to talk to and relaxed mentally and physically. Try to keep this state, remember it and keep it as long as possible
JOINT LABOR UNITES
What could be clearer than getting to know each other in collaboration. A trip to a potato (and they told me about an acquaintance on the virgin soil !!), a conference, a corporate party, a common project - all this is an opportunity to get closer and see a person in action. Even a work conflict can develop into a good close relationship, because in the conflict, like nowhere else, true interests are exposed and character is manifested. Shared activity makes it clear whether you will make a team with common goals and a focus on results. Looking at how the other acts in the labor process, you can guess what he is like in life together, in solving certain problems. But if a production romance has taken shape, then it must be borne in mind that it is better to divide the spheres of interest not only in everyday life, but also at work - there is no need to create a situation of competition and struggle for power, therefore it is better to work in different departments or branches, if you have close job responsibilities. Whether you collect sunflowers or create advertising slogans, in any case, the commonality of interests and goals, mutual assistance and mutual assistance contributes to the creation of a strong couple. Therefore, feel free to give a screwdriver or listen to valuable advice from an unfamiliar colleague and offer to get to know each other better in a cafe or watching a new movie in a cinema. Try so that on the first date, production conversations do not come to the fore, otherwise the relationship threatens to develop into business cooperation and nothing else.
What was meant: I am ready to prove myself and I want to be appreciated.
In joint activities, we show character and show our abilities and interests. Acquaintance in such a situation helps to show what kind of person is in everyday life and the resolution of difficult situations, whether he is able to bear responsibility and make a choice that is close to our views
So, regardless of how and where we want to find a person who is close in spirit, it is important to remember:
- water does not flow under a lying stone - be active;
- show your sincere interest in another, otherwise, perhaps you have been attracting him for a long time, but he did not suspect that this was mutual and was afraid to take the first step;
- do not be afraid to be yourself, do not play who you are not - sooner or later any deception will tire or bore you;
- strive to make the other person a goal, not a means to achieve other goals;
- make your acquaintance sincerely, do not try to choose someone else only according to the principle "and the one that I like will not even look at me, so I will choose the simpler one";
- in work or on vacation - do not make unfounded claims to another, obligations are not born at the first meeting, but take years;
- take into account the time and place of acquaintance, and also measure the means - not everything that suits on the street is suitable for a party with friends;
- be different and persistent, failure is not a reason to lock yourself in, but only a hint that the world is full of opportunities;
- do not stop developing - you yourself, like another, should be interesting and attractive;
- keep your distance - everyone has their own ideas about the boundaries, you should not violate them without permission;
- before you know the person, do not build illusions - high expectations are not the best way to interact;
- keep a sense of humor, but laugh at yourself and your circumstances and never at others - this is stupid and impolite.
Meet with joy and sincere interest and find many new Universes! Love and goodness to you!
(Illustration by Vyacheslav Kaprelyants).
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