2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I reflect on the sensations that some situations in life cause …
Undeveloped, unclear.
Those in which a lot of tension and fears have been accumulated.
Situations in which "words go numb", the connection with oneself is lost and the flow of natural movement "freezes".
And instead of joy and satisfaction, feelings of bitterness and sadness are occupied …
Situations that are fueled by chronic guilt about "I cannot (act in them) spontaneously and easily."
Situations in which "I don't even really understand what I want."
Or I understand, but I'm afraid to openly admit it.
Because to admit your desires is to consciously accept risks, to the possibility of mistakes or difficulties in implementation, to face the uncertainty of the future and the uncertainty of reality. And this is scary!
Sometimes, in difficult situations, the thought may arise:
"How nice it would be if I were different! Not myself! But those who are better than me …"
And the most important thing at this moment is notice YOURSELF.
"See".
Feel.
And hug.
Caress.
To accept.
This is what it is.
With what is.
And regret it.
And to give a place for sadness that so far it does not work out the way you want. Live, feel and act.
To see all of oneself, perhaps right now, unhappy, frightened, rushing about in search of "right decisions".
And - to love.
Accepting - with all fears, bitterness and sorrow.
Forgiving yourself endlessly for your "imperfection".
And then it gets easier.
Heavy thoughts recede and there is an opportunity to act in the moment - in accordance with the current urgent tasks.
And the opportunity to feel returns.
And live.
And what to do when it doesn't work out?
Can't be kind to yourself?
Attentive?
Host?
Can't forgive mistakes?
Can't you not blame, not shame, not be angry with yourself?
Then experience is needed.
Experience of acceptance from the outside.
Another person.
Who knows how
- empathize, not get angry, - to hear, not to blame, - notice, not ignore, - to support, not to shame.
Experience in secure relationships with clear, clear, thoughtful and negotiated boundaries. With clear conditions.
A space in which to try something new. Not as usual. Different than familiar.
Then to transfer it into your daily life.
And then words about self-support will cease to cause confusion, confusion, sadness or irritation.
BUT will become your reliable a resource that is always with you.
Maria Veresk, Online psychologist, gestalt therapist.
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