Changing Motivation A Little Bit

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

By trying to align our actions with what we want, we can double our self-discipline and willpower, but - as most people know from their own experience - this does not always yield the best results. You can go to the gym, but how often does it lead to regular exercise? When we engage in something out of a sense of duty rather than desire, a tug-of-war begins within us between good intentions and poor performance, even when the goal aligns with our values.

To make it harder for us to choose, our basic instincts kick in first. And when faced with a choice, basic attributes like taste are processed 195 milliseconds faster than health attributes. That is, our brain prompts us to make choices even before willpower turns on. This is perfectly demonstrated by one study in which 74% of people said that "after a while" they would prefer fruit over chocolate. But when chocolate and fruit were placed in front of them, 70% grabbed chocolate. This is because primitive drive triumphs over balanced judgment. It is unlikely that an inner parent threatening you with a finger will lead you where you want to go.

Fortunately, there is one little trick to help us get around the competition between two pulling forces. We can define our goals and transform “must” motivation into “want” motivation. By changing our motivation in this way, we can no longer worry about which part of us will dominate - passion or intellect - after all, all of our “I” will work harmoniously.

You can go on a healthy diet, because our appearance causes shame, fear, rejection. But you can choose to eat well, because you see health as an important inner quality that helps you feel good and enjoy life. Although the motivation "must" will provide an opportunity to temporarily achieve the goal, in the future the situation will change. After all, there will be situations when the impulse outstrips the intention - it takes only 195 milliseconds.

Wanting motivation is associated with less automatic attraction to stimuli that will lead us astray, and in fact, it is attracted to behaviors that help us achieve our goal. On the other hand, the “must” motivation actually increases the temptation, because the person feels constrained. Pursuing a goal based on "should" can undermine self-control and make a person vulnerable to what they do not want to do.

If life is a sum of moments, each of which can be slightly tweaked, and in the aggregate this will lead to a major change, imagine how much space you will get thanks to a little trick and find out how much "I want" is hidden in your "needs." Again, it is critical for this to know what we really value. Understanding what we need in the big picture helps us find desire in circumstances that would otherwise seem like a duty.

If in some aspect of life you cannot find "want", then this means that changes are needed in life. Finding "want" is not the violence of choice, but the simplification of the choice of what will lead you to what you want.

The article appeared thanks to the book "Emotional Agility" by Susan David