2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Today one acquaintance asked for support: his friend decided to die.
Many are afraid to come into contact with this. They are afraid to say the words, and to call everything by their proper names. I also tried to put it mildly out of respect for you.
I would like to share my thoughts on this topic.
The first thing I will say is that such cases can be prevented. You just need to be more attentive to people.
Often such people say the following phrases:
- “It's hard to endure this life. I can not do it anymore"
- "Suffering is unbearable for me"
- "I can't stand it anymore"
- "Everything seems hopeless to me"
- “I am stumped in all areas of life. Many things in my life do not work out"
- "I don't want to live"
- "I don't like this kind of life"
- “I’m ready to completely give up” or “I lost my hands”
- "I do not care anymore. I don't want to do all this. I don’t want to delve into it”.
These are call phrases. Especially "I don't care." When I am told such a phrase, I understand that I must pay all my attention there. A person absolutely does not care, it is so difficult and painful for him that he no longer has the strength to cope with it. Maybe later he can get over it, but not now.
Such statements are a cry for help. It is very difficult for them in this period of life. They desperately need support, help, understanding, attention. And we, who, at this moment, feel at least a little resource, can either help or harm. When you talk about how wonderful life is, how good everything is, you exacerbate the situation. If they feel just the opposite, uplifting phrases won't pull them out.
How do we most often react:
- “You are now pessimistic. You say that the glass is half empty, and I say that it is half full."
- "Life is Beautiful. Look around"
- “What's wrong with you? Hands, legs are, alive and well. There is a robot, there is a roof over your head. Don't bother the bad ones"
- “Well, listen, everyone's in trouble, that's okay. How are you different from others"
- "And for whom is it easy now?"
- “Don’t let the nurse go. That's what weaklings do. Pull yourself together, why can't you pull yourself together?
- "It's only you who decide to focus on good or bad."
- "It won't solve the problem."
With such sayings, we harm, cause a protest, and people can go into an even worse state. They sink deeper to the bottom (at best).
More often than not, we ourselves are unable to endure the complexities of life. When relatives or friends come to us with their difficult periods or pain, we want to get away from it. As much as we would like to support, but internally we are afraid to come into contact with suffering. Therefore, we try to close the conversation or transfer it to another channel.
One should not be afraid to talk to the person about his situation. And don't just talk. Recognize, accept all his feelings and thoughts. They deserve to be. Give them a place in life. At the moment, it is these feelings and experiences that have completely taken possession of a person, and they are his reality. Not everyone can switch.
The best reaction in such a situation is to just be and allow the human condition to be too. If this happens to you, the most caring thing you can do for yourself is to find a psychologist.
Take care of yourself and your family.
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