2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I am the word. I am a phrase, a paragraph, a passage, a chapter, I am a novel, I am a manuscript. I am an author, editor, muse, publisher, reader and … firefighter. I am Montag, McLellan, Beatty, Mildred, Faber … Helmholtz, Bernard, Lenina, I am John Savage, Mustafa, I am Henry Ford. I am Shakespeare … I am Duncan, Banquo, Fleece, Macduff, Hecate and the Triune Witch, I am Macbeth and Lady Macbeth. I am power … religion and people, I am a believer and a heretic, I am a dictator and a liberal, I am a war. I am her faces. I am death, life, and what is in between. I am being. I am existence, I am continuity, I am time, movement and space. I am speed, I am dynamics and stagnation, evolution and degradation, I am homo diverse, I am a man, animal, flesh, bone, vein, psyche, conscious and unconscious, I am a spirit … I am Jesus, Mary, Joseph, Judas … Pontius Pilate. I am Yeshua, Homeless, Master, Margarita, Koroviev, Fagot, and even Behemoth is me. I am Woland. Yes, yes, I am the devil, but I am a god, I am a demiurge, Yahweh, Brahman, Thor, Odin and Loki, Zeus and Hera, Ishtar, Set, Osiris, Isis, Baal and Moloch, I am good and evil, morality and debauchery, morality and immorality, Apollo and Dionysus, hero and trickster, Alexander and Diogenes, Person and Shadow. I am laughter, crying, grief, love, hatred, rage, disgust, disgust, acceptance and rejection, apathy and excitement, ataraxia and wei, disturbance of harmony, activity and non-action, transcendence and immanence. I am Buddha, Confucius and Lao Tzu, I am Kafka and Nietzsche, Machiavelli and Augustine, Plato and Aristotle, I am a thinker and an ignoramus, I am a poet, bard, storyteller, truver, narrator and barbarian, vandal, savage, ignoramus, scientist and warrior, keeper and destroyer, talent and mediocrity, rudeness and refinement, skill and inability, work and idleness, inquisitiveness and laziness. I am a parent, father, son, mother, daughter, I am an orphan and a whole clan, tribe, nationality, ethnos, I am a generation, an era, an eon. I am a victim, a murderer and a judge, law and justice, responsibility and irresponsibility, acceptance and rejection, by the way, Valjean and Javert, aristocracy, elite, caste and proletariat, lumpen, marginality … I am a revolution. I am an outcast, asocial, psychopath, maniac - I am an innocent lamb, favorite, favorite, leader, hero. I am a child, an adult and an old man, a woman and a man. I am Adam, Eve and Lilith. I am thirsty and rejecting, knowing and virgin, bearing and blameless. I am intelligence and stupidity. I am a serpent. I am a dragon. I am an anthropomorph, I am a pan, a centaur, a mermaid, a harpy, Sirin and Alkonost, I am instinct and intuition, I am feeling, emotion, sexuality and lack of instinct, alexithymia, dispassion, indifference, asexuality. I am heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, hermaphroditism, I am a rebis, king and queen, water, earth, fire, air, ether, Integrity and split, synthesis and decay, I am eternal life, immortality and finiteness of being, the brevity of a moment, an instant, I am the butterfly effect, the destructive and ordering force, determinism, the Laplace demon and chaos that generates the order of things, I am the Ouroboros … Beginning and end, Alpha and Omega.
I am both. And the third, and the fifth, and the tenth. And the hundredth, and googol, and googolplex, stasplex, I am infinity, I am the number itself, the number Pi, the Golden Proportion. I am all this and none of this. I am a growing fulfillment, tension and relief emptiness. Nothing…
And, most importantly, I am you. Whatever, whoever you see in me, it's me and not me, it's you. You and I, in essence, are one and the same, albeit different … Any I here can be read through your I, and everything will be correct, beautiful and balanced. Do you understand? This is the law of knowledge: you cannot know what you don’t see, you cannot see what you didn’t know.
One day the shoebox into which we were driven, or we have driven ourselves into, will become too cramped, unbearable, unsuitable for life. And you have to break through the cardboard shell, and - grow.
