2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
What gods do we pray to?
If we imagine religious integrity in the form of God the Father, the Bug of the Son, the holy spirit and Saint Sophia, then what equivalent feelings could we endow them with? For me, this is a continuation of the Nietzschean burial of God and the subsequent modern resurrection of individual symbols - intermediaries between the person and God. They killed God with their soullessness, which, in principle, acts for him as something castrating, but what is this soulless person doing at this moment? He creates his personal God, naturally not the same as everyone else's, personal, in the form of a symbol of his own faith, in fact, this kind of transcendental image of God, a modern soulless God, because it is such a God that can lead us to our "soulless" soul.
But back to feeling and integrity. Four is integrity. But what are these feelings that they symbolize and the equivalent to which we are looking for in self-created symbols. This is a difficult question for me, since applicable to each of these four, I personally have my complexes, and I feel that in this matter I can be biased more than ever, because this is a question about my essence, about the nature of my universe, about what I am woven from, and this throws me into immense fear. Fear. Which one makes me afraid? I could say - Sophia, showing here my maternal complex, but this is not so, my fear is more connected with the feeling of life than with the fact of its existence. I very slowly bring myself to the holy spirit, to this wind of life and inspirer, he is for me in every unknown and invisible object for me, which invades my container filled with anger, and I am afraid of him, I am afraid of everything, I am afraid to live, and this is my spirit, I am afraid that it will make me alive like God, and then I will have a feeling of shame, guilt, something depressing, associated with the awareness of myself as a mortal malady, who is afraid to sacrifice himself for the sake of the highest love for God the Father. And then, I approximately understand that my depression and guilt is about God the Son, and my unrealizable, but all-consuming love is about God the Father. I don’t know, maybe so while I continue my reflections.
There remains Saint Sophia, the most contradictory for me, the one that holds and keeps in the shadow of her magnificent potential for the birth of God, in my understanding, from contact with fear at the moment of seeing the greatest manifestation of love. Sophia is a multifaceted transformation function that transforms depression into the happiness of acceptance, fear into the joy of knowing, but its function is available only to those who are free from death. It frees from death and gives the ability to transform, for it is death itself in the guise of eternal life. For me personally, it looks like this, I feel it this way, it absorbs all three, producing life in this world. It generates, and it also gives rise to death, i.e. transformation.
Roughly speaking, my complexes, my symbolism, my images, which I transfer to my creeds, can tell me about my belief in something single, but the path to which I have lies through the particular from this community. Then my being seized by fear and my symbolization of fear leads me to an eternity of rebirth into absolute nothing, which, again, in my understanding, this four personifies.
And it is true that everyone can have their own personal path of transformation through their symbols and feelings, or they may not have anything at all. And that's okay too.
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