Gods Of Procrastination

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Gods of procrastination

I had a good day today - the last day off before the school year, weekly groups, graduate student clients. And the plans for this day were grandiose. Motivation rang like a pure pioneer horn, energy beat with a wrench, and triumphant shots were already drawn in front of my eyes, comparable to Armstrong's walk on the Moon … I completed 75% of what was planned - and suddenly … And suddenly these beautiful light, like disembodied butterflies by a lantern, thoughts … They swept enticingly somewhere along the side of the unconscious - or unconscious - and disappeared into the Universe. And at the same second, completely imperceptibly for myself, I radically changed my plans: I somehow famously baked a wonderful pear pie with shortbread dough, a pie that filled the apartment with the aroma of vanilla, cinnamon and caramel … I went to the bathroom for 5 minutes and found myself through an hour in foam without the slightest attempt to jump up and finish things …

It's strange - I thought, everything was going so well, and the prize was almost in my hands - but somehow it unexpectedly … accidentally … suddenly … kind of stalled …

And I, basking in the rays of the fading and already seemingly unattainable glory of the hero-leader, the best milkmaid and the first cosmonaut on the Moon, began to think: who is to blame?

And it dawned on me! I realized who was to blame for all the episodes of the unfinished article, the unfinished apartment and the unfinished promise, which is not expected for three years, but forever. They are to blame. Gods. Gods of procrastination.

Terry Pratchett once wrote about the petty gods of the Discworld. There are more than 3,000 of them, but theoretically their number is infinite. After all, any event or phenomenon can lead to the emergence of another deity. Example from Wikipedia: “a shepherd who has lost a sheep finds it entangled in thorn bushes. The ignorant peasant believes that it was the spirit of the blackthorn that helped him in his search, he offers prayer or even sacrifices to the spirit of the blackthorn and another divine essence appears in the world. The key moment in the emergence of the Divine on the Discworld is the presence of Faith in him."

And more and more often I notice that people have become believe in procrastination … What a word! This is not banal laziness … This is straightforward EVIL POWER! Demonic! We suddenly became innocent of anything: how the Deity of the Engine Motor can resist our trip, how the Deity of Weather can be angry with us and bring rain and wind just when we decided to enjoy a kebab with all kinds of pickled eggplant mushrooms - and so Deity of Procrastination at any moment he can overtake us and with his righteous anger completely destabilize our plans and deprive even those crumbs of energy that could help complete what we started. Or at least start what is planned.

And I thought: the Deity alone cannot do it. Obviously at God of Procrastination there are helpers - even smaller gods. Procrastination bore fruit, and the secrets of the universe were revealed to me, which I vilified for some time in my head, and then quickly, until the second coming of the laziness of procrastination came, I tried to write it down.

Of course, the most important thing is GOD OF DELAYED PUNISHMENT … When we were young, punishment followed almost immediately after crime. Killed the old woman, Rodion Raskolnikov, - march to prison. Cheated on her husband, Anna Karenina, - march under the train. Received a bad grade, skipped school, deceived parents, VasyaPetyaSasha - answer and get what you deserve. But now we have grown up. Nobody punishes. Even plans at work, even absenteeism, even shoals can be survived if you take a little time. And the bonuses from execution are usually less than the problems from punishment. Not scary, not ashamed - why bother then? And therefore, having a bunch of things to do (we draw a SWOT analysis plate: urgent - not urgent, important - not important), we still do not do important and not urgent. Why? Because we can! because we won't get anything for this! And, having received an assignment / having built grandiose plans / having defined goals, we ask ourselves the question: what if this is not done? And then the Deity comes and whispers in your ear: “Why try? Nobody will do anything to you … "And everything was gone …" The crocodile is not caught, the coconut does not grow"

The third deity is THE GOD OF ANOTHER DESIREhe is GOD IS NOT YOUR MOTIVATION … How many times have you heard the phrase from screens, pages and in personal conversations: “Do you really want this? Do you really need this? " As soon as you ask yourself the question of exactly how you move your legs, when you walk, your legs get tangled. As soon as you start to think whether you need to do it, just for you, this is exactly what motivation seems to dissolve in the air … And you understand that you wanted to do the wrong thing, not so … It was not your desire … And why are you, and not VasyaPetyaSasha - it’s unfair! And you spend a lot of time shirking, postponing, shifting - because the words "should" and "should" at these moments become less and less significant.

The fourth deity - GOD "THERE AND THEN", or GOD OF ENDLESS TIME … The beautiful principle of "here and now" is the enemy of all the Gods of Procrastination. But it is God "There and Then" who will whisper to you "You will have time … In the distant wonderful future you will do it … And now relax … Play with a toy … Chat with your friend … Watch the series / news / just stare at the TV or monitor … You have ahead eternity … You are only 47 - you will have time to give birth to a dozen children … You are only 38 - you will still receive 3 higher educations … You are still only 63 - you will of course still earn money and buy an apartment, a car and a dacha … Remember how good you were as a child - live like a child, don't load!"

The fifth god - THE GOD OF FAILURE EXPECTING YOU. Oh, he is cunning and cunning! He is always on the lookout and whispers: “You are nothing … You will not succeed … Even such a simple matter is beyond your power … Do you remember how you got a deuce in chemistry in the 9th grade? It will always be like this … Don't even start … Look: your cat doesn't respect you - you can't toilet train him, but you hope to complete the task normally … You are a loser, and the sooner you admit it, the easier it will be for you to live, unfortunate mediocrity …"

The sixth deity - of course GOD OF PERFECTIONhe is GOD OF PERFECTIONhe is IDEAL GOD … Everything is simple with him: his motto is known to everyone. "If you can't do something perfectly, you better not do it at all." Dot. Are you sure you will make THIS BUSINESS perfect? Will you bring up your child perfectly? Ideally, choose new shoes for yourself so that you don't rub it like last time - otherwise, "no, daughter, what sandals, you haven't worn out skates yet." Ideally welcome guests. Ideally … In general - do not start, because somewhere nearby someone is doing the same thing much better than you.

The seventh deity is the most unrecognized, the most inconspicuous, but very powerful THE GOD OF FEAR OF ANOTHER ENVYhe is GOD OF FEAR OF OWN SUCCESS … I will not go into a complex psychoanalytic discourse to explain how one's own envy is projected outward and begins to intimidate. But very often people refuse to do what they know how to do well, out of fear that if they are successful, others will:

They are afraid to be left alone and prefer to be "middle peasants" for the sake of this insidious and inconspicuous deity.

So at least seven. I'm sure there are many more. For example, the Small Deity spoils life very much "YOU ARE THE COOLEST AND YOU CAN DO ANYTHING", God "NO ONE WILL NOTICE", Goddess "LOVE YOURSELF STRONGER" and others others … In fact, these are the Gods of Death (that's why I put a picture with shinigami from "Death Note"). They take time. They are killing our lives. They stop and paralyze our movement. They hide under the bed, they hide in dark corners, they disguise themselves as pictures and posts on social networks. They are - insidious Gods of Procrastination - do everything to make us think that we do not want to do something really necessary and important for us, what we have chosen, what we need …

Question: what to do?

First - to admit the fact that you have procrastination in some significant area and to answer once again the question: "Do I really need it?" If the answer is “yes”, go to step 2.

Second - to understand which deities influence you especially strongly. You can get to know everyone, you can draw a portrait, write key messages, make a collage … You need to recognize the enemy by sight.

Third - start to act. Choose your own method of dealing with the Gods of Procrastination - guerrilla warfare or open and fair combat. Ask for help from loved ones. Set alarms. Check yourself. Write motivating counterphrases. Try to make friends with these Deities, to appease them, to reveal their positive intention towards you - all psychotherapy for working with parts-subpersonalities-internal systems will help you. If all else fails, repeat steps 1 and 2.

Fourth - believe in yourself! Faith feeds the little gods. Direct this energy to yourself, your choices, your affairs, ideas and projects. And you will succeed …

And you will great human happiness.

Author: Natalia Olifirovich