The Triad Of Deafness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

When I consulted families raising children with hearing problems, the complaints of parents about problems with children gradually merged and formed into what I called the "Triad of Deafness"

What is it actually about? I regularly hear from parents, teachers, psychologists, doctors and others who hear normally adults that these children:

a) noisy and (or) mobile;

b) overly stubborn;

c) impulsive, explosive, hysterical and capricious, in a word, very emotional.

And the most advanced in the field of medicine call it " hyperactivity syndrome" or even " attention deficit hyperactivity disorder". Now this is another" fashionable disease."

I don’t know what associations this may cause in you. I have a word " syndrome"evokes images of a hospital - white coats, the smell of drugs. In short, diseases. But is there a cure for this hyperactivity disorder? Although I know a long list of sedatives, even my erudition refuses to give the name" stubborn pills ".

Of course, in many children, in addition to hearing impairment, other disorders of the central nervous system can be found. And I am ready to give some specific recommendations on what to do if doctors diagnosed your child with such a diagnosis. But any doctor knows that this syndrome is observed not only in disorders of the central nervous system. Moreover, there can be many disorders, but the syndrome is subjectively absent.

How can it be caused in a perfectly healthy child?

To do this, mentally do the following experiment. Imagine that you are visiting people who do not understand your speech, and you cannot understand them either. Maybe they just can't hear you. And now you need something urgently. For example, to satisfy some physiological need. You go up to them and begin to explain, but they do not hear you. They can, of course, pay attention, but, apart from puzzled looks, your actions cause nothing.

How fast do you think you will start:

• Talk louder and louder?
• Add more and more sweeping gestures, facial expressions to your words and try to signal the problem with your whole appearance?
• ü Repeat the same thing over and over again?
• How much will you get angry or upset - so that others will notice it, and your emotional state will become clear even to a deaf person?

How quickly will you get yourself a "diagnosis" of hyperactivity or (if you haven't tried any of the above) bedwetting?

When I talk about the "triad of deafness," I mean, first of all, our deafness or inattention to the basic, not only physiological, but emotional and intellectual needs of the child.

What should I do if I am exhausted and / or I cannot deal with the anger, if the child is acting against my expectations?

Any difficult situation can be solved if you answer yourself three questions:

■ How do I provoke it?

■ How do I support its continuation?

■ What should I do if, despite my best efforts, the child continues to behave this way?

Let's look at this with an example of hyperactive behavior:

It is provoked by emotional deprivation or limited communication associated with ignoring the basic needs of the child. This means that it is necessary to constantly strive to understand the child and each time to show him that you understood him. The latter does not mean that you should headlong rush to fulfill any desire of your child. Don't be afraid to say no to him sometimes. Your ignorance or silence is much more difficult for the child than your refusal.

Hyperactivity develops when the child is convinced that it is this behavior that attracts the parents' attention more quickly and most often, or that much more attention is paid to it than positive behavior. Concentrate your attention on what suits you about the child's behavior. Support any of his good undertakings, praise any success. If out of an hour your child has sat calmly for only 1 minute, it is good if you turn to him at that very minute and praise him for the fact that he is sometimes still able to remain calm, although this is probably very difficult for him. The rest is not just ignored, but actively boycotted. Show everyone your appearance that you "do not give in to provocations."

If you are still not dealing with the situation, it often means that you just need outside help. It would be good if it would be the help of a specialist. It is possible that a specialist will point out to you that you are trying to manage what is impossible to manage. For example, you can't prevent your child from being angry or upset at all. But it would be nice to teach him socially acceptable ways of expressing anger or sadness. A child can master these skills in a family, humanitarian disciplines at school, and any form of artistic creativity contribute to emotional education.

If a doctor has diagnosed a child with hyperactivity disorder, what to do?

First, of course, follow all the doctor's prescriptions, do not refuse to take certain medications just because you do not believe in pills or are afraid of doctors from childhood. Try to discuss this with your doctor and find out how the prescribed medications or procedures work, what side effects and contraindications may be.

Secondly (and any doctor will say this), treatment begins with the establishment of a regimen and diet. The regimen recommended for such a child should have only one quality - regularity and predictability. It is desirable, of course, that the selected regime provides sufficient opportunities for alternating activity and rest.

The diet involves the elimination of all exciting substances. These are spicy, highly salted foods and foods that contain caffeine, such as chocolate and all tonic drinks. It is necessary to limit the presence of sweets in the children's diet, which is most often excessive - they try to reward them for calm behavior, but often provoke the opposite. It is desirable to increase the content of vitamins and some amino acids in the diet. For the latter, drugs such as nootropics serve.

In addition, often the opposite things can be useful: for example, activities that allow a child to calm down are not only relaxation exercises, but also playing with sand or water. Help your child focus on his actions and feelings - practice exercises that allow you to express them more fully, and not to accumulate inside yourself, because it is the prolonged containment of powerful emotions that then leads to outbursts.

Another group of common complaints I hear from teachers, acquaintances, distant relatives and other people who have contact, but are not directly involved in the problems of a child with hearing impairment. They say these children are too spoiled. On the one hand, this is expressed in excessive sensitivity - they get upset too easily, fall into a depressed state because of little things that are insignificant for us. On the other hand, they demand the unquestioning fulfillment of their desires, strive for leadership among their peers, try to tyrannize them and even teachers, taking advantage of their special position.

In cases where it is difficult to reproach parents for indulging their child in everything, and his behavior, meanwhile, fully falls under the aforementioned characteristics, adults tend to look for the reason in the child's bad character and insidious ingenuity: they say, seeing that his whims do not work on the parents, he transferred them to school.

At the same time, only one fact is ignored: such children are always in the minority in a general education school. And a member of any minority always feels depressed, which easily turns into discomfort, and then into depression or rage, or, finally, into righteous anger and heightened self-esteem.

Perhaps we should try not to suppress the minority or separate it, but to include it in the general life of the class?

Hearing impaired children need our support to stay on par with other children. This is the only way we can help them grow up as a full-fledged individual, equal members of society, and not an object for the emergence of fears and prejudices, a victim of stereotypes against people with disabilities. They don't have to be a burden to the majority. On the contrary, they may well make their invaluable contribution to the life of society.

Integrated education alone in general education schools for children with disabilities can not form and develop in their peers a sense of compassion and skills of mutual help and support, but to foster in today's schoolchildren a moral readiness for life's difficulties, from which no one is immune, resilience and courage, compassion and patience, - the properties of human nature, necessary when a person himself is sick or forced to take care of someone, for example, about elderly parents.