2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Being emotionally dependent means feeling helpless, unviable without the support of other people. To really need someone from whom you can receive love and to whom you can shift the responsibility. Not being able to take care of yourself on your own, comfort yourself and support yourself in difficult times. Remain in a destructive relationship, despite the partner's indifference, humiliation, even beatings.
An addict needs someone to be around to feel psychologically stable. And the loss of such a stabilizing object is perceived as a catastrophe.
Emotionally dependent people are looking for someone to rely on and survive through this connection. For the sake of maintaining the relationship, they abandon their needs and adapt to the needs of their partner.
Early childhood memories of the mother's love and care serve as a driving force for the formation of a healthy child's psyche. They seem to replace the real presence of the mother in those moments when she is not around. Thus, a child who has received a sufficient amount of mother's warmth and acceptance carries the image of a mother within him. Already in adulthood, he can rely on this image in difficult moments of his life. If the mother, for some reason, did not cope with her task, she was emotionally detached, then relying on herself is subsequently impossible.
The more or less constant presence of the mother in the child's life in the first years of life is important. Parting with her for a long time (hospitalization, living with a grandmother or nanny) is perceived by the child as rejection and contributes to the formation of a dependent structure of the psyche.
The absence of such a loving mother inside the psyche leads to the need to be in constant contact with the real mother, or the person assigned to the role of the mother. Usually the partner is the symbolic parent. The personal qualities of a partner are secondary, the main thing is to quickly cling to a supportive figure and get rid of an intolerable feeling of loneliness.
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