2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We are accustomed to associating psychoanalysis with an extremely clear masculine image, almost beyond doubt. Only occasionally is this fundamental point of view cast in the shadow of desperate, "disguised superiority" personalities like Horney. But it's not about jealousy or even about the penis. And about the image of the analyst
We are so static in our associations about a banana, a cigar and other oblong and not the most delicate objects that we put the image of the therapist into the background, believing that it is more important and more important to give an interpretation and outline its boundaries and role in the client's life. But the image (read - positioning) of the therapist is hardly the least significant component.
It seems to us that to interpret - to give an exact name to what happened - is the most important thing. And this is true, but not quite. The most important thing, it’s the most difficult, is to admit (hello, narcissism) that the fact of a client's recovery does not always depend only on the accuracy of the application of a particular technique. But to a greater extent, it depends on how the therapist sees the "recovery" itself and how he lays out a path to it. Because if the therapist strives to heal, he will not achieve healing. On the other hand, if this urge is contained and healing is seen as an added bonus that is generally independent of the therapist, then there is a greater chance that the symptoms will subside and the client will feel better. And I am convinced of this: the psychoanalyst's desire to understand and heal excludes these possibilities for the client.
So the analyst must be in a special state of readiness for surprise. This attitude of the therapist to what is happening is what Lacan calls "appearances." And visibility in this case is the antipode of artificiality. It is rather an attitude towards oneself, and not an artificially occupied posture in the presence of others. Visibility here is an attempt to start over, to get rid of conscious expectations, to become a blank sheet of paper on which to write. And this is not so easy to do (let's say hello to narcissism again). You need to learn to allow yourself to be taken by surprise, "to portray forgetfulness," "to portray a fool," no matter how rude it may sound. And here it is precisely the female gender that is important, because I see a direct connection between femininity and visibility. Let me explain.
I am sure that the female position is expressed precisely in the manner of concealing, doing this not so much in order to disappear for others, but in order to chastely hide from herself. And this gesture is so unintentional that it looks like a natural extension of the body itself. Deception is a state of femininity. A femininity that is addressed to itself and not to someone else.
There is a big difference between masculine and feminine in terms of deception. Speaking feminine and masculine, I, first of all, mean the peculiar attitude of everyone (without being tied to gender) to their own body and the specific manner of masking it. In other words, they are two different ways to demonstrate and cover pleasure. When a woman hides something, she hides it first of all from herself, not really caring about the other, thereby opening the veil of secrecy. While a man, if he is hiding something, hides it primarily from others. He does it so diligently that both the process and the gesture of disguise becomes too obvious. In other words, when a woman hides something, she creates a mystery, leaving room for surprise, while a man dispels the mystery, strangling all questions at the root. And here one more thing is important: the words "man" and "woman" should be understood as the position (male or female) that a person occupies, regardless of gender.
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