The Splendor Of The Illusion

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Often some sad, sad person comes to my office. And he says, they say, all people are like people, I'm the only one such a loser.

You begin to find out why it suddenly makes a person feel in comparison with others - a failure.

Well, the client says. Here I look at Facebook, everyone has a normal life. Everyone travels, photographs under the palm trees, everyone laughs and is happy. Everyone has normal families, no one quarrels. Everyone is happy, they say. And when I wake up - just like in the song by Splin: "I stepped on a cat, I had a fight with my wife." And in a circle, they say, everything. Work - home - work - home. Well, sometimes to the bar. Well, maximum with the kids to the park on Sunday. And no palms, even cry. Loser, what can I say.

Tell me, kind person, what are you posting on Facebook yourself?

Do you post photos of your quarrels with your spouse on VKontakte?

Do you post in classmates how you step on a cat?

No? What are you posting?

Well, they say, I'll post funny pictures. Well, since the birthday of my father-in-law I posted a photo - the cake there was cool.

Well, I posted a photo with my girlfriends at a bachelorette party in a bar. Everyone there prettier, everyone is happy.

I often show my beautiful cat.

Their children in the park, as they run along a hill.

And tell me, dear man, if you didn’t know how sad and in the circle of everyday life your life rushes, what would you think of a person who has exactly the same chronicle on social networks as you?

Well, I don’t know … I would have thought, probably, that the person is well settled …

So why do you, kind person, think that those who show palm trees live better, do not swear with their wife, do not step on cats?

A very common situation is when we try to draw conclusions about a person's personality and life from a small fragment of what we see, it works in such a wonderful way.

We know ourselves from the inside. With all my fears, worries and mistakes. We know how we live every moment of our life, what emotions and events prevail. And what do we show to others?

We know other people only by what they want or agree to show us. And we draw a conclusion on the decorated facade about the whole life in the house. And it may be different, this life, hidden from people behind beautiful walls.

With the advent of social networks, each of us has the opportunity to create a wonderful fairy tale for others (and for ourselves).

There is nothing bad in this, because, speaking in the language of psychology, it is a resource on which a person himself can rely. By collecting likes and admiring comments, you can experience positive emotions, and by pushing off from them, overcome the crisis. Of course, this phenomenon has another side - addiction. Or sometimes communication at this level in social networks begins to complicate communication in real life, because a person feels especially vulnerable in real communication, because he has already tried to create a certain image about himself that everyone believed, and he himself. There is nothing wrong with fantasies and dreams, until the whole life turns into fantasies and dreams.

But what should the audience do? Those who believe in this beautiful fairy tale and cruelly compare it with their real life, faced with the rising concern that something is wrong with his life.

First, remember that there is a culture of communication, according to which it is unacceptable to demonstrate many things in our real life to strangers. Few people write that they have financial problems, someone fell ill or died, problems with potency or loneliness torments. There are also such posts, but, as a rule, this happens either in special closed groups, whose members often prefer to remain anonymous, or this is really a very acute case, asking for help, material or emotional.

Secondly, as already mentioned above, and, in my opinion, this is the most important thing in all cases of comparing our life and ourselves with others, we must remember that we know ourselves completely. We know all aspects of our life, while in others we see only what they want to show us. And this is especially true of social networks, where everyone can build their story however they want.