Neurotic Personality. Type One: Subordinate

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Neurosis is a very confusing thing. There are different views on the nature, causes and development of this problem. I want to focus on Karen Horney's research, which I consider to be one of the deepest and most ambitious in this area.

Speaking about neurosis, Karen Horney distinguishes three types of neurotic personality:

1. Subordinate "movement to people"

2. Aggressive "movement against people"

3. Separated "movement from people"

Each type of neurotic personality has its own attitudes and characteristics.

Today we will talk about the subordinate type of neurotic personality or the "movement towards people" attitude

In this type of neurotic personality, the basic need to have a loving creature nearby, a husband, wife, friend, patron who will guide him, will take responsibility for him and solve his pressing problems, will protect and protect him, and, if necessary, will be guilty of his failures and failures. Therefore, in a relationship such a person has a lot of unconscious manipulation and exploitation. His relationship is neurotic, his needs are unconscious and compulsive; at the slightest frustration of his drives, the neurotic experiences strong grief, regardless of his real attitude towards people.

This type perceives others as stronger and more aggressive (regardless of the real situation), and therefore it is in their love that he needs so much.

He needs to be supported, loved, wanted, desired, appreciated, helped, protected.

At first glance, quite natural needs for any person, the only difference is that in a neurotic they are unconscious and compulsive in nature, and also a neurotic does not understand that behind all this lies his strong need for security, and not for love and approval.

The need for security shapes the character of the neurotic. He becomes compliant, obedient, comfortable, tries to listen to the needs and expectations of others. Shows unselfishness, gentleness, does not require anything, sacrifices himself, just to be loved. He hides from himself that deep down, all these people are indifferent to him, he considers them selfish and hypocrites.

He gives everything to others in order to receive from them what he needs. As a result, he often gets frustrated. others fall short of his expectations.

The deception of the subordinate neurotic: he takes his need for love for the ability to love

They have the following attitudes towards themselves:

1 … A neurotic of this type feels like a weak and helpless being. His message to the world is "I am small and I demand love and protection." This helplessness is justified, since wrestling and competition for such a person is prohibited.

2. He considers others more worthy, more capable, more talented than himself. This attitude is reinforced by a lack of perseverance and firmness, which really weakens his ability.

3. The attitude to evaluate yourself through the approval or disapproval of other people. Self-esteem correlates with the assessment of others. Any criticism scares him, he is ready to bend as much as necessary to regain the lost location of another person.

4. A neurotic of this type suppresses his aggressive impulses. His behavior pattern is constantly taking the blame on himself. In accordance with this, he has many internal prohibitions: to be demanding, critical, ambitious, domineering, to apply pressure. Because he is strongly oriented towards others, internal inhibitions do not allow him to do something for himself. It is difficult for him to enjoy life alone. Food, movies, music, nature can only be enjoyed in company with others. This greatly impoverishes his life and makes him dependent on others.

5. At the same time, the neurotic is afraid to openly show dissatisfaction with others, because his self-respect is too dependent on the opinions of others. Therefore, his aggression often manifests itself in a passive form: ignoring the interests of other people, unconscious manipulation and parasitic existence.

What is driving this neurotic personality type out? Lots of aggressive drives.

The main conflict of the subordinate neurotic: it is a conflict between opposing needs - the desire to be loved and accepted and the desire for power, revenge and power.

Suppressing your aggressive urges may be a desire to be “kind” and compliant, or it may be an attempt to abandon the secret need to exploit others yourself.

Therefore, it is so important to investigate both sides of the internal conflict (compliant and aggressive) in order to understand the true motivation of drives and attitudes. This will help resolve his internal conflicts, which the neurotic transfers to all areas of his life, especially to relationships, thereby destroying them. Integration of conflicting personality elements will give such a person more confidence, inner stability, integrity and satisfaction with life.