2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Apparent sexual dysfunctions are inappropriate attitudes of a person regarding sexual activity, when he is convinced of the presence of a disorder in the absence of such.
The tendency to discover in oneself imaginary sexual disorders is characteristic of suspicious, anxious individuals, prone to suggestibility, with suppressed aggression, who find it difficult to define their boundaries.
The ability for constructive aggression directly depends on the level of a person's self-esteem. If the level is low, then he will not be able to protect his interests for fear of a conflict with a significant partner.
An example of an everyday situation. The couple has sex, the man reaches orgasm, but the woman does not. The man offers to bring her to orgasm in other ways, but the woman begins to show resentment and reproaches her partner that he has problems with potency, that a normal man is able to continue sexual intercourse until the woman reaches a natural climax. Due to the lack of enlightenment in this matter and low self-esteem, the man begins to feel shame in front of his partner and guilt that he could not give her full pleasure. He agrees that he has problems, worse, the problem turns into a fix idea, and after that, the partner begins to have real problems of a psychogenic nature, such as, for example, anxious expectation syndrome of sexual failure or neurosis of expectation. As a result, sex disappears in a couple, relations deteriorate, because the woman continues to blame her partner for either not loving her or not doing anything to solve the problem.
A man is not able to reflect reproaches, because he has already believed in his inferiority, overgrown with obligations and fears, who needs him that way. He comes to a psychologist with a request to work out some kind of birth trauma, then he goes to a sexologist to correct an erection, starts drinking stimulants. And all because, initially succumbing to suggestion, I could not protect myself.
Or, for example, another situation. The woman did not discuss with her partner the range of sexual acceptability, in other words, her boundaries in sex, her needs and desires, her partner's expectations from joint sex. As a result, the refusal to give the partner a blowjob, caused his resentment and reproaches for her sexual coldness, comparison with other, "more temperamental" women. The woman believed in her frigidity, but instead of turning to a specialist to debunk the myths, she was carried away by the Vedas and other practices for the development of femininity. While she was developing her femininity and sexual chakra, the man left for another.
It also happens that a woman needs sex every day, and a man needs 3 times a week. For this he can be accused of impotence. Likewise, a partner with a strong sexual constitution can accuse a woman with little need for sex for frigidity.
That is why it is important to discuss your sexual needs with each other in order to take them into account, or to look for the right partner.
More often, imaginary sexual disorders cause either a selfish attitude of a partner who makes inadequate demands, does not take into account fatigue, emotional unreadiness of the other, makes subjective value judgments, or inadequate attitudes towards sex of the person himself, presenting himself with overestimated rigid requirements.
With imaginary sexual disorders, the psychologist, naturally, works not with the disorder, but with the person's self-esteem, with his boundaries, needs, irrational attitudes, fears, and sexual literacy.
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