2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Most often, sexual fantasies are understood as sexual thoughts of unrealistic content. Or something that has not yet been in real experience, but thoughts about it excite and there is a feeling that in reality you might like it (which is not a fact). In this definition lies the answer to the question - whether it is necessary to strive without fail to realize their fantasies. No, this is not a prerequisite. Fantasies help create and heighten arousal (and can help peak pleasure during sexual intercourse with a partner). Also, it is an environmentally friendly way of living for "forbidden" and even dangerous desires. The main criterion for "normalcy" is what you do with your fantasies. If you are ok with self-control, and you control what and how you (or won't) do with your sexual fantasies, fantasize for health).
From fantasy, you can transfer some elements or the plot itself into real life. Perhaps it turns out that some things are good only in the form of fantasies, and perhaps some elements will remain in your practice. Sexual play is born at the intersection of sexual fantasy with real sexual behavior.
But where is the line where sexual play becomes sexual perversion (deviation, paraphilia, perversion)? I really like how B. Martel writes about this in his book "Sexuality, Love and Gestalt." Consider the difference between norm and perversion using the example of sadomasochism. If this is a sexual game, then here, there are certain rules, agreed conditions (place, time, etc.) and an agreement has been obtained from all participants for their roles. Sadomasochism as deviation becomes when it comes to forcible compulsion to certain actions. In the case of deviation, the other participant ceases to be a full partner, he becomes only an instrument for acting out a specific sexual scenario. Moreover, in the case of deviation, there is little or no search for other forms of sexual pleasure. As you can see, the variety and diversity of your sexual fantasies and games is more about healthy sexuality than about perverted nature).
Also, the story with paraphilia is characterized by the following moments: the behavior of the paraphilus is full of hostility, its behavioral scenario is based on childhood trauma, the paraphilia itself becomes a ritual for reproducing the trauma and a way of coping with it.
Paraphilias can be mainly divided into those that are based on the vector of the direction of attraction (choice of a partner based on age, his anatomical features, belonging to inanimate objects, animals, etc.) and those that are based on the method of realization of attraction (mechanical, psychological and physiological methods and means).
I will not list all the existing set of names for sexual perversion. I will refer to DSM-5, which distinguishes the following main paraphilic disorders: voyeurism (espionage for the nudity or sexual life of others); exhibitionism (demonstration of their genitals to others); frotteurism (friction about strangers in crowded places, most often in public transport); masochism (the desire to be humiliated); sadism (the desire to humiliate, deliver pain); pedophilia (adult attraction to a child); fetishism (replacement of a sexual object with a thing, object); transvestism (excitement from dressing up in clothes of the opposite sex).
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