2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
For a person's life, so much wealth is collected that sometimes, looking back, people ask questions:
"Where does all this come from?"
"This all is mine? Exactly mine?"
"How does it all fit into my life?"
It seems that for all this it is necessary to build a skyscraper, or rather two, and even then, it seems, they will have the same fate as the American twins.
The question is, what to do with all this? And how to distribute everything that has accumulated in life, so that both the person and those who are nearby are good, easy and comfortable ?!
Let's start with childhood.
All children had parents, even those who did not officially have them - there were people who, for one reason or another, performed the functions of parents. During the period of growth and maturation, each child could have accumulated many different experiences associated with parents, both positive and not so.
Sometimes these feelings, situations and experiences do not allow a person to live comfortably, calmly relate to the past, or build harmonious relationships with parental figures in the present. Then it turns out that the relationship or memories are saturated with toxic feelings and acute experiences so much that it prevents a person from building his own life, regardless of the expectations of his parents.
Even if at times it seems that your own life is exactly different from genitive ideas and expectations, you can build it as a proof of your own significance, importance, value, but not on your own pedestal - but on your parental one. Thereby, first of all, showing and proving to them what you have achieved and what (what) a great fellow you are!
But in fact, they do not need to prove anything, you can be worthy on your own! To do this, it is not necessary to have high achievements in professional, personal or both spheres of life at once: it is important to just be yourself! And this is already good!
Those who think that I can give here a universal easy recipe for how to get rid of this, I have to disappoint: it will not be. But you have your own and real life in your hands, and you can turn to a specialist and deal with your childhood traumas.
This process is gradual, it can take a lot of time and effort, but it is worth it to make it easier for you to live and breathe. When you feel this, you will not regret the time, effort and money spent on this difficult path, and you will be grateful to the sky and the people who are near, for the fact that they were and remained near, no matter what. And for those who did not stay, you will also have an understanding that everything is not accidental.
Separately, I would like to say about important and significant people with whom a person meets in the process of life. Someone leaves a big indelible mark, while someone, once significant and dear, remains only an echo. Each has its own goal: both for these people who come into our lives, and for us, who come to others.
And even if you really want to be the most important person for another throughout your life, no matter how life's paths go, it happens in different ways, our desire alone is not enough. Yes, in fact, it is not too useful and it is useful to be very important for someone or to raise to a special rank those with whom the paths have long parted ways, and, perhaps, you will not meet again.
If you often notice that people from the past still remind of themselves, although you have not communicated or seen each other for a long time, think about how the attachment system is built in your life. If you notice that you remember people, words, events for many years, this can speak not only of an excellent memory, but also of a strong emotional attachment - or rather, dependence on people, regardless of their presence in your life.
Try to figure it out as soon as possible, because without understanding it with the help of a specialist, you can suffer all your life, but in fact not from what these people have done, but from the fact that too much pain and anxiety has accumulated inside you throughout your life.
So, my parting words: if relations with parents, regardless of age, are filled with difficult and even unbearable experiences, and no matter how hard you try not to react, it does not work, you will have to seek help. And this is not a shame, but on the contrary, it is very respectful and in an adult way - to take responsibility for your life!
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