2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Today I want to talk about an important issue that concerns the fact that we usually blame the victim. Moreover, the victim blames himself.
Let's take an example. X was attacked in a driveway and his phone was taken away.
What's the first thing that comes to mind? "Do not figs rummage around the gateways and shine on the phone." And if this is not a gateway, but if it was not a phone that was stolen …
Why do we automatically blame the victim?
- there we provide ourselves with subconscious safety "it was she who behaved this way, I do not behave this way, it will not happen to me";
- we say that this is an experience that the victim "needs to work out" justifying the maniac in order to again tell himself that there are no maniacs, they are for karma, and therefore we are safe.
Why does the victim do this to himself?
- Again, if you brought it on yourself, there is a chance to change it, you find yourself in a situation that you control, and not someone else's man from the gateway;
- If the victim blames herself, she neutralizes her pain, fear and anxiety, because if we assume that the men run their doors everywhere, and there is no criterion by which they attack, life becomes very scary. The horror arises that the experience can be repeated.
We blame the victim, and the victim blames himself for relieving his anxiety, providing safety (subconsciously).
In this regard, working with victims of sexual violence can be difficult, because you need to give a place for pain, and guilt provides, as it were, safety.
This article deals with the aspect from only one side. Why do you think everyone usually tries to blame the victim?
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