2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Who is in charge of the family? Young spouses often ask themselves and each other such a question. And of course, they know the correct answer in advance: both are the main ones. But, either stereotypes imposed from childhood, or the traditions of one's own family, are slowly beginning to distort this simple truth.
A man is often prone to patriarchal attitudes, especially if he is the breadwinner in the family, earns more than his wife, or generally works alone. And many women, willingly or unwillingly, tend to support this position of their beloved spouse. But from her love sometimes begins to rapidly decline.
To please her husband in everything, he plunged headlong into cleaning, washing and cooking - all this gradually begins to lower the woman's self-esteem, and, as it were, erases her personality. The spouse dissolves in the partner, and no longer thinks of herself differently than an appendage to the head of the family.
A similar metamorphosis can occur with a man who has fallen under the heel of an overbearing and active wife. Moreover, a woman can be both a successful business woman and a housewife, but with “priority” rights in the family. Such ladies intuitively choose for themselves henpecked husbands, who also involuntarily reach out to their commander-in-chief.
But hanging in the patterns of codependent behavior in a couple does not lead to anything good. A partner who seeks to fully merge with a dominant spouse will sooner or later begin to win back some secondary benefits from such a union.
Although, such a symbiosis is sometimes very tenacious, and both spouses do not feel discomfort from embedding into each other. But, nevertheless, we must not forget that the value of each personality is an independent category. This is especially acute in the event of a divorce, or if one of the spouses leaves the other earlier, and he will have to live on his own.
It is then that the lack of the ability to solve their problems begins to be felt in full. And it’s just worthy to withstand the sudden surging loneliness. A family psychologist will help you to understand yourself, to adjust the relationship of the spouses. It is desirable that both husband and wife come to the consultation.
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