Money For Nothing

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Money for nothing

If you ask someone you know about what this person wants to do in their life, most likely you will not get a clear answer. However, if you ask the same person about what he does not want to do in his life, most will agree that they do not want to work. I think that the phrase “I want a lot of money and not work” was heard and said by almost everyone, although, of course, there are exceptions, and I believe that there are people who sincerely love their job and are ready to do it for free.

And the very meaning of work duties, more often than not, comes down not to making the world a better place, but to selling your time and skills for money, that is, all these gestures “to the office, to the office, from the office / sit down for the computer, click on the keys - move away from the computer”are aimed only at getting a salary at the end of the month. Thus, people do not really like to work, but society is built in such a way that all its members need to somehow generate a parish, except, perhaps, cats, dogs and babies.

In the same phrase that I quoted above, there is also the second part of the innermost dream of an "ordinary" person, namely, the possession of financial resources outside of work, that is, "money just like that." I don't work - and I have money, isn't it great? And this is exactly what everyone wants (note, hereditary millionaires and drug dealers are not included in my representative sample), but if I ask a logical question from the coaching point of view: “Why do you think you still don’t have this? ? ", We will come to the conclusion that the person simply does not believe that this is possible. He wants, thinks about it, declares what he wants, but deep inside himself does not believe. If you go even deeper, he does not believe that this is possible for him personally, since it is impossible not to admit that somewhere in the world there are people who have money, but do not work.

Money and interaction with it is one of the most frequent requests for coaching. In general, to summarize, there are three requests for coaching therapy (at least three main ones): personal and family relationships (finding a husband, keeping a husband, returning a husband, expelling a husband, finding a new husband and forgetting an old one), this also includes relationships with children, parents and lovers; financial well-being (no money, little money, a lot of money, but still not satisfied) and finding myself (why am I here at all, what should I strive for, what should I do with my life, what should I do to make everything feel good). From the point of view of an esoteric approach, the latter is the most important, and understanding and acceptance of oneself is generally the key to solving any problems, but such realization is not so easy to come, it takes years, and even those who were able to solve problems with money and relationships, does not always move to "knowing oneself", more often than not, there is no strength and desire for this.

No matter how we treat money - with fear, greed, with disappointment, with a painful desire to possess or with disgust, they are exactly the same part of our world as everything material, and our attitude towards them affects only what we have whether we have them in abundance or not, whether we live in a stream of good or fight for every ruble.

As coaching gurus say, "Money is energy." Some go even further and say that a woman's relationship with her mother will be the basis of her relationship with her husband, and that a woman's relationship with her father will be equal to her relationship with money. In men, it must be assumed, the opposite is true. In other words, if a woman has accepted herself as a “woman” - and a huge number of women do not, for various reasons - then her relationship with her mother will be built successfully (more precisely, she will build them), and her relationship with her husband, because then she is ready with her husband to behave energetically like a woman, not like a “man”, and not like a “girl”, which in our reality is found in abundance.

Any relationship is interaction. If we consider the girl's relationship with her father as a process of energy interaction, or even as a process of learning this interaction, then the picture seems to be quite logical. Ideally, a father is reliability, support, protection, calmness, strength. If the father loves his daughter and takes care of her, she will grow up confident in herself and in the fact that “her world takes care of her,” and from the point of view of esoterics, the approach is applicable: “what you radiate, you get”, what you “vibrate” with, then and you attract. A father, like a husband, is a "stone wall" for a woman, although in my opinion this wall should not stand in front of a woman, blocking the whole world from her or closing her from the world, but behind her, like a "covered rear" - go, dear, dare, create, dream, and I will cover, I will provide support. Probably, an important remark here will be that the meaning of daddy's support is not that the girl just ran to daddy, “give me money,” “buy,” “pay,” but that she understands how to properly treat a man’s energy that is in itself. I think you have met adult women who have lived their whole lives under the financial "wing" of their husband and behave like little girls if he is suddenly not around. They do not know how to make independent decisions, do not have their own opinion, do not know how to behave rationally, I would say. The mother gives the girl a sense of joy in life, and the father gives the girl a sense of stability. I repeat, this is the ideal, since, unfortunately, in reality there are only a few girls brought up in this way, so our generation of women are like Pinocchio, whom “sometimes Papa Carlo brings up, and sometimes nobody”.

If we continue the metaphor that interaction with a loving father teaches a girl to interact with the egregor of money, then we can say that for such a girl, financial stability or even financial abundance will be an internal norm. Why? Because my father's (and my mother's, of course, too) love does not need to be "deserved", it just is. Which of us was raised in the style of “We love you just like that,” and not because you study well, help around the house, or won an Olympiad in Chinese? Few, apparently. Communicating with clients of my generation, and a couple of the next, I often hear from them that their parents from the very birth considered them somehow “wrong”, “defective”, “broken”, and the essence of upbringing was to “fix "," Fix "," redo ". And if money = love, then how can we believe that we can have it just like that, and it does not need to be "earned by hard work"? No way. We have never been given love “just like that”, and we cannot believe that money can be had “just like that”.

Almost anyone who has worked with a coach or psychologist to increase income has heard the phrase glass ceiling. It is about the fact that no matter how hard a person tries, he cannot reach an income level above a certain level, due to deep-seated internal attitudes. That this amount he can afford to have, but twice as much - no, he did not deserve. Those notorious "money for nothing", which are simply there, and they are taken by the one who is ready to take. Moreover, it works in both directions - either I cannot take it, since the internal setting does not allow, or I will take it, but then they disappear somewhere, there are unforeseen expenses, emergency situations, or this money turns out to be more needed by someone else, and not you. Why? Because there is this "I did not deserve" inside. A child who grew up with the attitude “love must be earned” will treat money in the same way, and until you change it in yourself and realize that love just exists and does not depend on your success in work and study, you will not see financial well-being, as you yourself know what. Of course, you will have money, you do not sit on the stove with your mouth open, waiting for the dumplings to jump there by themselves, but this money will be "earned", not "received."

When clients come to me asking for an increase in income, I invite them to do a very simple exercise. Imagine that you already have as much money as you want, and observe the inner feelings. Are you experiencing joy, lightness, gratitude for your financial condition? After all, this is exactly what you want! Guess how many people said this is what they are experiencing? Almost nobody. Most often, I hear that "something inside shrinks and becomes uncomfortable." Now, without the desired money, it is also uncomfortable, but this is such a familiar discomfort, and that, the other, is unusual and from this even more frightening. How can you get it if you can't even imagine it? Skeptics usually object to me, they say, but what about those who won the lottery? Great, give me statistics on those who used this money won to their advantage, or even better - invested in something worthwhile and received an even larger amount, and did not waste it on entertainment and bad habits. Not always "problems with money" means that there is no money, often it means that there is money, but a person does not know how to handle them

Imagine that you have grown up with the clear confidence that you are loved. Just like that, for what you are, and for what you are / what you are. She is fat, thin, tall, short, with freckles, with protruding ears or hair, with a big nose or with big feet - it doesn't matter how the atoms were formed there, how it turned out, it turned out that way. Or "such" - also concerns men. It is hard to imagine? I believe, I tried it myself - the feeling did not come right away. It is good to extrapolate to pets, if you have any. For example, I really love my dogs, I just love them, even if they don’t learn the scales, they never go to university and don’t become dentists. They require a lot of attention, often "want to handles", sometimes they scratch "out of excess of feelings", try to lick my plate at lunch (okay, it would be more honest to say "trying to take a piece of food from my plate, especially chicken"), bark loudly at passers-by and sometimes on a walk run away into the forest and I need to follow them, despite the fact that I have a bunch of other things to do, but they know that they are loved and for them "owners" mean complete safety, hugs and cookies. Now, if you were also loved? I am sure you would be a happy creature with a beautiful shiny fur and least of all you would be interested in depressive thoughts about the fate of the world. When I was studying coaching, one of the most important topics was money, financial wealth, well-being, and how to work with it using coaching techniques, and in general, everything more or less comes down to finding your blocks, inner limiting beliefs., work with them and come to the perception of wealth as something completely normal, ordinary. “It’s okay for me to be happy, loved and live in abundance.” The skill is as beautiful as it is practically unattainable within the paradigm of negative-oriented thinking.

I often compare the relationship of dogs with their owners and the relationship of a person with the Higher Powers, as I find many similarities. I, as the owner, provide my pets with a cozy and comfortable life, and what do I want from them in return? Love, joy, delight. Do you like it when your dog rejoices at your return, or curls up in a ball in your lap when you watch your favorite TV show, or just spins around while you do something that is crucial from the point of view of your human perception? I think yes. Are you pleased to see your dog joyful and happy? Yes. And if the dog sat in the corner all the time, was sad (despite the fact that you are doing everything to make its life carefree), and radiated something like “I'm not worthy / I'm not good enough / I'm not sure that the owner loves me”, refused tasty food, so she“didn’t deserve it”, and didn’t play with a ball and a funny plush rabbit because she didn’t earn money from them. You, of course, as a loving owner, will persuade the dog for some time, slip tasty pieces, surround it with attention and pick it up (if it is not a St. Bernard, of course), but if she (the dog) or he (the dog) stubbornly insists on your worthlessness, you will eventually leave her / him alone, again as a loving master. You have other things to do besides dancing in front of the dog, right? Moreover, this does not detract from your love for the pet. Likewise, the Higher Forces, which are trying with all their might to convey to you that they have prepared all the best for you, and all you need to do is take all this and sincerely rejoice, and all the time you are thrusting your “I am not worthy” at them. They are also obliged to respect your choice, since you want to be unworthy, well, what can you do, be. And who prevents you from believing that you are worthy? Only you yourself, no one else. Who benefits from keeping you feeling this way? Certainly not for the Higher Forces, they are of no use from unfortunate human beings, they do not see us at all, while we sit in our negative, wrapped in it up to our ears, as if in a blanket on a cold November evening.

Of course, there are a lot of people who are very profitable and comfortable that you consider yourself unworthy of a happy life and financial well-being. Sometimes these are bosses, the government, spouses, children, and sometimes even parents (“Better a child under 35 sits on my neck, but I won’t lose power over him”), but they are all secondary. Primarily your own inner conviction. When clients tell me that they have not achieved anything, because their parents did this and that as a child, I suggest that they return to the preparatory group of kindergarten, and not pretend to be adults and independent people, and God forbid, heads of department. And how is this feeling beneficial to you personally? If you answer that "nothing", I will not believe you, because if it were completely unprofitable for you, you would not have it.

I think that if you can believe that you - an individual taken separately - can be loved and accepted "just like that", then it will be possible to try on this feeling for financial well-being. And even better - accept for yourself the installation “It's okay for me to live in love and prosperity and do what brings me joy,” as in the song where a musician gets money and girls love for playing the guitar on MTV. Not a bad option, isn't it?

Be loved and happy

Until next time, Yours, #anyafincham