About Gender Formatting

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

“He said that men and women are equal and therefore does not see any reason why I should feed and support me, who is pregnant with our child,” a young woman, 7 months pregnant, cries in my office. “I was so ashamed to raise this topic, and now I am also to blame for the fact that we had a falling out, because he is essentially right, we are equal and no one owes anything to anyone,” the client continued.

About times, about mores, I thought, I decided to write a note in the fb, and explained to the client that such attacks are often speculated not by those who “should not”, but who cannot or does not want to (losers or parasites). They cannot earn money, get a job, take responsibility. It is easier for them to think that they should not look after, be a support, marry, play with children and cook dinner … And instead of a simple and honest “I don’t want to strain”, they use “I should not do anything”.

But the sad and dangerous thing is that such manipulations and substitution of concepts spread in the population, confuse and change consciousness on a global scale, create new rules and values.

Where are we going, comrades ?! And do we agree with them - let's discuss)

So.

Today it is no longer fashionable and even somehow indecent to call women the "weaker sex". And more and more men grieve and groan from "unfair" claims to them as a strong sex. Well, so be it, to be honest …

Increasingly, one can hear complaints about the fact that men are now crumbling, and women are fucked up. Men are sick of the female "you are a man - you have to", and women are jarred by some kind of forced need to be a Batman with the function of childbirth.

At the same time, men complain that women have ceased to be. And women are outraged where the male manifestation has gone in the most positive sense.

All this gives rise to new ideas and speculations about the distribution of tasks, functions and capabilities of men and women in the modern world.

I believe that the topic is acute and important, because it concerns not only actual relationships, but also issues of upbringing, the formation of values, certain behavior, ideas and claims in relationships among the younger generation. In simple words, xy from xy and who owes what to whom.

Well, I invite you to a diplomatic and interesting discussion!)

Let's start with the facts.

Finally, men and women have equal rights. Hallelujah! This achievement in the historical context and time took a long time and paid dearly.

This equality in rights makes it possible to talk about the equal self-worth and uniqueness of a person, whoever she is. Feelings, thoughts, desires, needs - these are things that are equally valuable without being tied to gender.

But men and women are not the same. In their instincts, physiology, psychology, energies, destiny. And it is impossible to put an equal sign between them in principle.

With all the progressiveness, development of culture and awareness of society, its tolerance and tireless struggle for justice, distortions occur even in good intentions and deeds. With equality, they frankly overdid it.

Yes, an adult must be autonomous and self-sufficient, be able to feed himself, cook food, chop wood, know how to take care of children and at the same time not fall into a relationship with a partner, not parasitize.

Yes, with the development of the level of culture, men can, and sometimes even better than women, take care of children and run a household. And women make money, start a business, become excellent surgeons or investigators. And again, thank God!

And at the same time, it is precisely for this reason that we want a serious relationship, in order to be able to rely, count on help, support and partnership. It is just as important for a woman to have a rear, so it is important for a man to know that someone reliable and loyal will be there to "supply cartridges" when needed.

But if you move in the direction that open the door for the lady, help carry heavy bags, bring a bouquet of flowers for a date - it is not necessary, and in some cases even dangerous, because the lady may be offended … (sho? Are you serious?), Then where as a result we will come and what will we achieve? The evolution of values and attitudes has turned somewhere strange, don't you think?

Many of us sincerely agree and just want to "love without commitment"?

It is sad to observe how the concepts of human rights and freedoms are sometimes mixed and substituted, while belittling the essence of the difference between a man and a woman. But someone believes in it and is imbued with it!..

Comrades, let's not confuse God's gift with eggs!

Yes, in family and relationships we are partners - our feelings, desires, thoughts, values are equally important. And in resolving conflicts, as in building family happiness, we bear an equal degree of responsibility.

But "dad is not your mom," yo-ma-yo. A man is not a woman and vice versa. And it is important for this to take into account, understand, recognize, respect … and if there are brains and the ability to enjoy it!

In a crowd of people, relatives, friends and colleagues, we are just human people, sons and daughters, parents, friends and girlfriends, dentists, engineers, economists, etc. We can be quite successful and fulfilled in all these social roles. But only in the field of a man - a woman can truly feel like a woman, tender, caring, loving, warm, vulnerable and protected, flirtatious, playful, desirable and happy, reveal her femininity, charm and potential. Only in interaction with a woman in a man can his beautiful masculine essence be manifested.

There is something so lively, enchanting, tasty and alluring in the fact that men and women are in some ways similar, and in some incomprehensibly different.

For the psychology of a man, recognition, achievement, realization, development are important. His thinking, interests and ambitions are directed to society. Winning there, he feels lucky. And isn't it cool to dedicate your victories and share the joy of their achievement with your beloved?

For a woman, safety and stability are important. On its foundation, she realizes her natural potential and essence, creates comfort and coziness in the family, gives birth to children, is engaged and realized in her favorite business, so that her beloved can proudly say “have you seen? that's mine!.

If a Man is able to see in a woman - a woman - a girl, beloved, mother of children, she perceives him in the most correct sense, recognizes strength, trusts, respects, expresses gratitude, loves. Yes, she wants a strong and reliable male for the possibility of procreation, but what is wrong in her logic? Or is it right to want a "goner" and a lazy person?

Undoubtedly, both partners, man and woman, are equally valuable, equally worthy of love, understanding, acceptance and care. But don't blur the lines between male and female behavior and functions.

If a woman is forced for herself and for that guy, then the feeling of being a woman with a particular man dissolves. If a man does not show masculine behavior - how is he different from a girl, just honestly? When a woman is masculine, and a man's behavior is feminine, it frankly does not excite, the energy and attraction that we all want to have in close relationships is lost.

Nobody owes anything to anyone - exactly until the moment when we agreed to be a man and a woman for each other, about partnership and mutual responsibility. True, in order to maintain this reciprocity healthy and effective, one must try.

Therefore, it is good to initially have guidelines, that it is normal, to want and be mutually indebted to each other. Gender equality is not about devaluing masculinity and femininity. And don't complicate things. Nothing can prevent a man from being strong and sensitive at the same time, crying with emotion or grief, being a defender, showing care and tenderness. And for a woman - to realize her ambitions, to make a career, to contribute to the family budget and the hearth.

Maybe I'm the last of the Mohicans who think it's good not only to be born a man or a woman, but also to want to be one.

I wish all of us to know and feel who we are. To be able to enjoy the gift of destiny to be a Man or to be a Woman. And happy relationship to us!)