2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Yesterday I saw a fight between teenagers on the street, and today I learned that the Ministry of Education and Science wants to launch an online course on counteracting bullying for teachers. The participation of the state in this topic is encouraging, since recently, visits to the parents of a psychologist with this problem have become more frequent.
Therefore, dear parents, I am sharing information with you.
I want few letters and a clear essence, I will try to be as local as possible.
So: What is bullying.
Bullying (from the English bully - a bully, a fighter, a rapist) - psychological terror, beating, persecution of one person by another. This, in our language, is the usual bullying of a teenager by adolescents around the age of 13-17. It can be verbal (verbal), social or physical.
In Ukraine, according to a study conducted for UNICEF, 89% of schoolchildren face bullying.
What it is fraught with for victims of bullying: psychosomatic illnesses, psychological problems, a drop in self-confidence and even suicide.
I think it's worth thinking about this …
If you think that this was not the case before and now is such a difficult time, therefore, there is aggression and bullying of children by children, then this is unlikely. We can watch old Soviet films on this topic as:
Republic ShKID (1966), Scarecrow (1983), Dear Elena Sergeevna (1988)
What has changed since then is that bullying has been supplemented with cyberbullying, those. bullying and bullying on the Internet.
There are three roles in bullying : victim, aggressor and witness. The negative consequences of bullying occur in all three groups of bullying participants.
Victims bullying at school most often becomes: poor students, excellent students, teachers' favorites, physically weak children, children overprotected by parents, sneaks, children with a non-trivial worldview that differs from the standard ("white crows"), children of poorly provided (poor) parents …
One trait unites all victims: most often, the objects of bullying are children and adolescents who have heightened sensitivity, showing their "weakness" (fear, resentment or anger). Their reaction is in line with the expectations of the aggressors, giving rise to the desired sense of superiority.
Aggressors adolescents with internal pain become, and as a rule, these are children who are not seen and respected in the family. Thus, he compensates for his disrespect and his insignificance in this way. Their need for recognition and understanding is not being met. Or he is brought up in a narcissistic family, where he is the most beautiful and most important. Where, in order to survive, one must tear and exterminate others. These are children without prohibitions.
What to do? Well … it all starts with the family
Dear parents, if you notice that your child does not want to go to school, is constantly sad, afraid, withdrawn into himself, then … having organized a confidential atmosphere at home, try to gently and carefully ask him how things are going with him at school, with friends, with peers. No bullying, jokes and pressure on your part. Without "but it will pass", "it's okay", "she will let it go." Ask with special attention and patience.
Cultivate in your child respect and dignity towards yourself and others! No one ever has the right to humiliate and insult a person. Be a worthy example
Now there is a lot of literature and videos on this topic, such as:
How to Stop Bullying in School: The Psychology of Mobbing by Erling Ruland. The Norwegian teacher analyzes in detail the mechanism of bullying, and gives recommendations that will be useful to both the teacher and the parents.
Also released on the screens of the television series "13 Reasons Why" based on the book of Jay Asher, where this problem is very accurately illustrated.
And if the situation has gone too far, contact a psychologist who will explain to you what to say and how to act, and will support your child and relieve stress.
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