2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Very often clients who come to a meeting ask: "How many meetings will it take?" Sometimes they ask quite bluntly and frankly: “In how many meetings will you solve my question? I want 100% result. Do you guarantee it to me? " And I understand such curiosity and perseverance, because the services of a psychologist are quite expensive. But … I honestly don't know. And this is not an attempt to lure more money out of a person. I will try to explain why it is so.
Remember the anecdote?
- How many psychologists do you need to replace a light bulb?
- One, if the bulb itself wants to change.
So it is here: change is a creative process. Your psyche has already done a great job once so that you can live in this situation as you can. At the same time, you can study, work, build relationships, plan, make decisions, and so on. And now the first remark: ask yourself now the question, how long did it take you to adapt to the situation that arose? That is, how much time has passed from the moment the situation began until you decided that “Enough! It's time to change something!”? To be more precise, until the moment you ended up in the psychologist's office. Have you counted? This is the approximate speed of your creative adaptation.
On the guarantee of the result. Let's say the client and the psychologist have formulated a request, refined and clarified it. What a psychologist cannot influence (apart from factors outside the office)? What exactly you will be able to realize and in what sequence it will happen. What from this you take, apply in your life, behavior, and what not. That is why it is difficult to establish a framework for this process, since everything takes a different time. There is a well-known metaphor about the onion: under each layer of feelings, needs, motivations is the next one. And therapy is a matter of research, increasing human awareness and sensitivity, first of all to oneself, to what is in these "layers" of the psyche and how a person treats it. After all, realizing, you can see other options and make a choice.
The situation in which the client wants a clear framework from the psychologist sets the same framework for the client himself. Counseling and therapy are very flexible processes. And, in fact, it is even great if the approximate dates are indicated. But the contract has an open end: if the result is achieved, the work ends. If the client thinks not, then the therapy continues and a new contract is signed. This form is good in that it allows both the client and the therapist to notice at what point, on what topic, the person decided to interrupt the process, but the result was not achieved. And this is also a very important material for awareness.
What can a psychologist guarantee? Security, non-judgmental acceptance, transparency of borders, your presence with the client's process. As well as taking care of their professional competence.
That is, in the sphere of the psychologist's responsibility is the creation of conditions, space (both the office itself and the form of relations with the client) in which the work will take place, and accompanying him along the way.
Therefore, there is still no such instrument that would accurately measure and, at the same time, give a guarantee of the result, how much time is needed in each specific case. If you really want to count and organize something, then you can observe something new that begins to happen to you and, for example, keep a diary: on what day it was noticed. However, we can definitely say that in the process of working with a psychologist, the client increases his ability to be aware. And it stays with him forever.
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