2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Recently, during a consultation, I asked one of my clients to formulate a career goal for himself. His reaction paralyzed me - the client started screaming that he never plans anything, and having goals makes him feel unhappy. “Because of these goals of yours, I endlessly hate myself - because I set them and never achieve them. At such moments, I feel like nothing."
After the consultation, I exhaled, made myself some tea and thought. But really. Now from all sides, wherever you look, "Reach!", "Don't waste time!", "One thousand and one goals for the next year!" ? Nothing? Then quickly get your ass off the couch and start doing something! " From these slogans, everything inside turns over, you reach for your notebook and start frantically planning the next week, because “I have to do more, more, more. Withstand, overpower, become successful. A champion in setting and achieving goals. Number 1 in the world!"
This is what goals are associated with in our still narcissistic world. And for the endless "SHOULD!" an equally endless procrastination and sabotage follows. Then we get up, do something, realize our own insignificance in front of Elon Musk and again fall on the sofa. And we hate all these goals successfully imposed by society.
This perception of goals actually does harm rather than benefit. I absolutely agree with you here.
So to begin with, put aside your long-suffering diary and sit back on the couch. Let's dream first … What would you really like? A house by the sea? Cross stitching? Run a warm tube handmade cheese company? Don't limit yourself. Turn on your imagination and do not turn it off until you rearrange the picture that is most pleasant for you. The life of your dreams.
Have you presented?
Now we can return to the goals. Because they start with desires. Yours, your own. Without desires, the goal turns into torture, with desires - into an exciting hunt for a tidbit.
The next step is fleshing out … Answer for yourself a simple question: how do you know that you have already achieved your dream? For example, it turned out that you dream of becoming a psychologist. And what is the magic of “becoming a psychologist” for you? Graduate from university and get a master's degree? Form a practice of plus / minus ten clients? Or is it just to understand yourself? It is important to make it as specific as possible - the more clearly you formulate your goal based on your dream, the clearer it will be to move on.
The goal is not a competition. The goal is only a rough marker on the way to your own desires.… On the way to the life that suits YOU as much as possible. This is very individual - I know people who cannot imagine themselves without office life and are absolutely happy with it. And I know people who are happy in absolutely unstructured art. It is impossible to measure the degree of success - this is a too subjective parameter that everyone sets for himself individually.
Moreover - our goals are not static … We are constantly changing, as are our desires. We also constantly adjust our own targets depending on the speed of our approach to it. That is why I wrote that she was just a "conditional marker". For example, I set myself a target size of 10 stable clients in six months. But we cannot know for sure how quickly I will reach them: it may happen later (and then I need to analyze how realistic the strategy I have invented), or maybe earlier. After a couple of months, for example. And then I will reflect on further goals. Moreover, in the process of achieving my goal, I may change my mind: get married and go on a long honeymoon trip, experience a strong shock, or just fall in love with another business. This is life, everything is possible in it. Therefore, the goal is not a sentence.
I am also often asked the question: can a goal be unpleasant? In the sense - not to bring pleasure? More likely no than yes. Our goal should be something that drives us, ignites, motivates us.… But the path to it can consist of much less pleasant things. These are what I call tasks - these are mini “subgoals”. For example, let's take the same goal of “becoming a psychologist”. And we prescribe the steps. Well, first you need to go to university, then start promoting your services. And if the idea of learning may look tasty and attractive to you, then the idea of selling yourself may seem unpleasant. But without this, the achievement of the goal may be in doubt.
So, take a piece of paper. Write your goal at the very top. Below - indicate the tasks with sub-items. If you are not sure about them yet, write approximately.
Now get distracted for a couple of hours. Take a walk. Make yourself a delicious dinner. Watch an episode of the latest TV series.
After that, return to the leaflet with goals and objectives. Imagine yourself there, at the end point. As colorful as possible. In details. Like it?) If so, you can start your own journey towards the life you truly want.
Good luck with that. And, if anything, I will be glad to help you.;)
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