Another Glass?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If you ask the average Russian-speaking person - within the framework of this article I will speak about this part of the world community - "Do you use drugs?" - the answer, in a huge number of cases, will be "Of course not!" I meet with friends "," In moderation "," Well, who doesn't use it?"

If the conversation is conducted in a more private setting, more details will appear. “A glass of wine at dinner, just for appetite”, or “A little cognac before going to bed, you know, to fall asleep better”, “What kind of a bath without beer?”, Or “Vodka with a kebab goes very well!”, “We have celebration, you need to buy several boxes of champagne "," The body is completely cleansed of alcohol after 21 days, that is, never "- there are a great many such phrases, in different variations.

In our society, in general, a peculiar relationship with alcohol. Of course, everyone knows that it is harmful, and they write about it on bottles and even in shop windows, while the number of stores selling alcohol in an average Russian city, let's say, per square kilometer, is increasing not even every year, but every month. Moreover, alcohol is an integral part of our life, it is everywhere. No restaurant will survive if it doesn't have an alcohol license, it just won't make a profit. People are more likely to come for a tasty snack for a drink than for gourmet satisfaction; it is difficult to imagine any family or corporate meal without alcohol, I'm not talking about events like a wedding or the birth of a child, it is generally impossible to survive "dry". We talk about different sorts of wines, don't come back from trips abroad without a couple of beautiful bottles bought in duty free, post photos of ourselves on the beach with a glass of shaman in our hands, and before going on vacation we dream of sipping Pina Colada on the balcony of a hotel room overlooking the sunset.

Moreover, remember how many times, when it comes to psychotherapy, you heard the phrase: “Oh, who needs these psychologists of yours, still pay money for this, I'd rather go for a bottle of wine and go to my friend, we are all by ourselves we will decide."

How a friend, most likely in exactly the same frustration, a substance that alters consciousness and a future hangover, can help solve this or that psychological problem, I do not know, but the fact that the solution to the problem will be postponed for an indefinite period of time, most likely, aggravating her, pretty obvious.

Even when I was a “corporate” person, I often thought about why an employee who complains of a hangover in the office in the morning would rather receive the sympathy of colleagues, reasoning about how much low-quality alcohol around, or even a glass for lunch, would have become, "To improve your health", and not the question: "Why did you drink at all?"

If you, during a feast, utter a phrase like: “I don’t drink,” what will you get in response? First, a puzzled look, then the question: "Do you take any pills?", "Are you driving today?" And if you are not sick, not driving and not pregnant and do not drink - this is, in general, how? Why? What is wrong with you?

I didn't start by mentioning drugs in vain. There are studies confirming that the level of harm done to the human body and the level of dependence on alcohol are several times higher than from the same cocaine or heroin, while the turnover of "drugs" by states is limited, but the turnover of alcohol is, by and large, not.

I am not a narcologist and issues of alcohol use and addiction interest me much more from a psychological and metaphysical point of view. There are three aspects in this topic, in my opinion: 1) Why does a person drink alcohol, 2) Psychological consequences of drinking, 3)

Ways to get out of addiction

The most honest answer to the question: "Why do you drink?" Will be: "Because I want to." Then you can already pull something like: “To relax”, “For the company”, “It's more fun”, “Just like that”, “Out of boredom”, “Out of habit”.

Not taking into account the facts of physiological dependence (alcohol becomes part of the metabolism in the body and its absence has unpleasant consequences) and social dependence (this is the very same "How will I have a feast / birthday / wedding without alcohol? They won't understand me!"), I will dwell on the moments of metaphysics.

Based on the analysis of work with clients, I can distinguish three reasons for drinking alcohol, and they occur both separately and all together. The first reason: Alcohol (any) slows down the brain, almost stops the process of "endless thinking". Many people, especially those who, by the nature of their activity, need to be constantly "involved in the process" - to decide something, think about, talk, receive and transmit information, at some point they just get tired of it, so to speak "overheat", and taking and making the brain stop producing 10,000 thoughts per second is not easy. The brain, like a huge flywheel, spins at a tremendous speed, often by inertia, it needs time to slow down, and alcohol does it almost instantly, in about 10 minutes. The wheel seems to hang in space, completes its revolution very slowly, and then completely stops, depending on what dose was "injected" into it. It seems to me like a “stand by” button, the brain just stopped and waits for the poison to end, which most often happens only after a few hours, and this gives a person a kind of respite and an easy way to silence the brain. As the saying goes, "I drank in the morning - I am free until the evening."

Reason two: alcohol changes a person's mood. As soon as you drink, you seem to bloom, become smiling and talkative. Some internal barriers, clamps, restrictions are removed. Students studying foreign languages often joke that after a couple of glasses it is much easier for them to communicate with foreigners, they are not ashamed of grammatical errors, and the speech somehow flows more smoothly. You can dance, and approach an unfamiliar girl, and decide on some crazy act, the inner brake is also temporarily put on "stand by", the true essence of a person is manifested, and not the mask that he wears. I think you noticed this both in yourself and in those around you, how the silent ones become talkative, the shy ones become brave, the greedy ones become generous, and the calm ones become aggressive.

The third reason does not lie on the surface. It is quite deeply hidden, and in order to realize it, you need to almost interrogate yourself or the person with whom you are talking. I will formulate it briefly: the desire for self-destruction. Alcohol really destroys the human body, it is like a time bomb that affects the work of the body's organs, killing them, but very slowly, gently, without haste. Where does a person have such a desire to kill himself? Because, to be honest, he does not see any value in himself. Moreover, I would say that he does not understand at all why he lives, what is the meaning of all this fuss and rush, and since the hustle and bustle is not going to end in the foreseeable future, there is only one way out - to escape. Go to jump from a bridge or try to hold your breath under water in your own bathroom for a longer time - the options are so-so, the body has a very strong instinct for self-preservation, it will not give up without a fight, and if little by little, little by little, a couple of shots of poison a day, then it somehow imperceptibly, and therefore not so extravagant, and still works! It is not necessary to provide statistics on mortality from alcohol consumption, directly and indirectly, I think you yourself are aware.

Let's go further. Consequences. As my friend and professional colleague says, "alcohol is a joy on loan." For every pile, glass and glass that seemed to please us so much yesterday during a feast / gathering with friends or in front of the TV, we will pay. Health, consequences, negative emotions. Alcohol always works like an illusion of "high vibrations". It seems to us that we feel good and have fun after a glass / glass, we laugh and joke, we are almost euphoric! This is a deception, a surrogate, a fake. As soon as the effect of the poison ends, you will understand that you are still there, in the same boring and hectic life, from which you so want to escape, and in addition, negative emotions are exacerbated - shame, fear, guilt … It was so great yesterday at a corporate party - and today it is so embarrassing to look colleagues in the eyes, I danced so much in a nightclub that I forgot to call my husband - now I feel terribly guilty, in the heat of the moment I said nasty things to my boyfriend - now it’s scary that she’ll quit, and so on. The higher you thought you went on the positive emotional scale under the influence of alcohol, the lower you would fall when it stops working.

As soon as we have figured out who is to blame, the next question comes: “what to do?”

If you really want to reduce (or even completely eliminate) the impact of alcohol on your life, answer the question: "What value do I get when I am drunk?" I can assume that this is, again, slowing down of thoughts, temporary euphoria, a block of internal criticism, which is constantly present in the "background" with its own: "You are worthless and useless." Other options are possible, as long as the answer is honest. And as soon as the answer is received, it is already possible to work with it. Find the way out. Find what you really want, find what alcohol gives you the illusion of, and even further - find other ways to get what you want, honest. Usually they are much more complex, require a lot of effort, self-discipline, self-control, so people "re-active" and do not choose them, because in the short term it seems unnecessary and too difficult.

If you want to slow down your brain - learn to meditate, if you want to “relax” - be aware of what makes you “shrink”, and if the question is about feeling your own worthlessness, coaching will help, both with a specialist and your inner one.

Again, I'm not saying it's easy. It's not easy at all! The body now and then strives to break out of awareness, return to the usual circle, alcohol is available to everyone and always, it almost lies in wait for travelers tired on the path of life, promising them peace and joy, and only awareness, your reliable combat friend, can help, stop, to keep, to remind that life does not end tonight, tomorrow a new day will come, and in it you need to be “in the resource” for solving daily tasks, and a hangover and negative emotions will not help you in this in any way. And if you also find an activity that gives you real joy, and not an alcoholic counterfeit, you will understand that you are sorry to waste time only on drinking alcoholic drinks, but also on combating its negative consequences. Ideally, as an emotional therapist, I would like to see how the client comes to understand his value for himself and for the world around him, and then the desire for "delayed suicide" dissolves much faster, and the person is clearly aware that, in fact, you can experience happiness even without the piles of poison in the evenings.