How Do You Explain To A Teenager What Needs To Be Learned?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Let's first define who can be called a teenager

The timing of adolescence is difficult to define. They depend on the individual qualities of a person, on his social status. Many researchers are inclined to believe that adolescence begins at 11-12, and ends at 21, they have a crisis of 13 and 16 years.

Adolescence is perhaps the most difficult age in a person's life. In the process, a person turns from a child to an adult. Moreover, changes occur both on the mental, and on the physical and social levels.

During this period, a person changes his attitude to life many times, and a reassessment of values is constantly taking place. The teenager's thinking becomes more complex, flexible and logical. Self-awareness is gradually formed.

By the end of this period, a gradual self-determination of the adolescent takes place. A person at this age is looking for himself, finds new interests. There is an accumulation of life experience and skills. Attraction to the opposite sex appears. The teenager feels that he belongs to a social group, be it family or friends

How can you explain to a teenager that this time is given for the accumulation of certain knowledge and skills, that this is the most favorable time for learning and learning.

Raising this question in the Parents' Club, parents shared their own experience:

- Supervise constantly, help, hire tutors. When he realizes that the freebie does not work, he will do homework at least to a minimum, and then it may even come to the very end. We are fighting ourselves, trying to get through, there is no need to swear, it's useless.

- It is necessary to explain, and it was necessary to teach to study from the 1st grade.

- Explain? And if he does not help the more frightened with bad work and bad future, then it is almost useless and one should only hope that he himself will understand …

- Difficult question. Maybe he will understand when he grows up and then he will be able to catch up.

- Get interested in money. A friend of mine pays a certain amount for each assessment. As a result, he is already afraid that he will go broke. He began to actively bring good grades. And for the bad ones - a fine.

- It's not that the child must come to this on his own. There must be constant control on our part. And sooner or later, consciousness will appear. Do not give up and everything will work out!

- At one time, there was the same situation. I took a certificate for a child from a therapist. And I got a job in a fish shop for a week. I chose work, heavier and dirtier.

After a week of work, we sat down and talked with the child that if you do not study, then all his life he will work in such "fish shops". The child can say he chose: he received a secondary education, graduated from higher education. Everything worked out.

Don't just give up!

What do psychologists say, why is it difficult for a teenager to study? Science explains:

1. Against the background of a hormonal explosion, which occurs in girls at the age of 11-12, and in boys at 12-13, the processes of excitation in the cerebral cortex are very fast, and the processes of inhibition are slow. And this means that teenagers are distracted, turned on and annoyed by any little thing, but it is not easy for them to stop and slow down. Of course, in such a state it is difficult to concentrate on the lessons, concentrate attention, and not be distracted.
2. Bones and muscles at this time grow unevenly, all movements become uncoordinated, clumsy. No matter how you sit down, everything is uncomfortable, and the adults say: "Don't turn around, don't fall back on the chair." It is especially hard for boys, they stretch more than girls. Therefore, they have higher bone fragility at this age. They break their arms and legs more often. And the need to stretch out on the couch, just lie down when they come home, they have more. And we shout: “Why are you lying around, sit down to do your homework!
3. The heart grows and … it hurts, at times it beats often. The brain is not getting the right amount of oxygen. The head understands worse and gets tired faster. Hurts. Lack of oxygen can lead to fainting. Girls are especially susceptible to fainting. They are also more likely to suffer from increased blood pressure. The peak of such adolescent hypertension occurs at 13-14 years of age. And we, adults, as luck would have it, do not allow them to fully move and breathe. At school, teenagers hear: “Don't be cool in class! There is no need to run out into the yard at recess, drag dirt to school! " At home we say: “Where did you go for a walk? Lessons not done yet!"

4. Hormonal storms cause emotions in a teenager to change as often as glass in a kaleidoscope. Either he is interested in everything and the teenager works with joy, and then suddenly he gets irritated for no reason, is ready to cry, or simply falls into apathy. Girls are especially emotionally unstable.

   The game of hormones makes young ladies immerse themselves in the world of female interests. Now every girl cares most about how she looks and whether boys pay attention to her? All thoughts about sciences, except for "the science of tender passion", fade into the background.

Boys are less busy with their appearance, but their "sore subject" is height. Which one is higher? What can you do to grow up even more?

5. The digestive system at this time reacts very painfully to prolonged emotional and physical stress. Fatigue and stress cause gastroenterological diseases in adolescents no less often than dry food. When the stomach hurts, what lessons are there?
6. In addition, academic failure may be associated with insufficient formulation of techniques and methods of educational activity, with a specific teaching method, with the personality of the teacher. Perhaps the reasons for the lack of progress lie in the wrong form of presentation of the material.
7. The social sphere is very important: how relationships develop in the family, in the classroom, with teachers. Adverse situations lead to increased anxiety, low self-esteem, fears, isolation, etc. All this affects the child's academic performance.

How can we help these outwardly almost adults, often aggressive and so vulnerable children? Psychologists and educators advise:

1. You do not need to excite and annoy teenagers with an orderly tone, try to communicate on an equal footing. They no longer look at us from the bottom up, they perceive us now critically and want to stand next to us on the same board.
2. Give teenagers the opportunity to move more - they should spend at least 3 hours a day on the move. Now they just need physical education and sports. Right now flexibility, dexterity, good coordination, plasticity of movements are being honed. It depends on how the teenage years pass, depends on whether our children will become graceful or clumsy in movement will remain with them for the rest of their lives. Understand that adolescents are uncomfortable in their bodies right now, do not laugh at their awkwardness, do not scold when they spin during class and try to lie down on the couch all the time.
3. Now they need to consume more calcium with food than adults, especially boys, they need proteins, they need phosphorus, vitamin D …
4. The physiological load on the body of a teenager is higher than that of a younger student! And he sleeps much less, considering himself already an adult. A teenager should sleep at least 9 hours! And it would be nice to grab another hour in the afternoon.
5. It is imperative to walk every day. The body simply needs oxygen! And you need to learn lessons in a ventilated room.
6. Pay more attention to your difficult child, do not limit your communication only to questions: “Have you eaten? And what are the grades in the school? " Teenagers only pretend that they no longer need us. In fact, our attention, our friendship, our opinion, expressed kindly and tactfully, are very important to them. In their circle, they quote us!
7. We all want our children to learn as much knowledge as possible in their youth. We want them to study responsibly and well. But the load they have at school is such that it is impossible to learn everything they are asked. Unreasonable school load forces the child to treat the lessons selectively: to do some, skip some, skip some … You cannot study all the sciences. But we need to raise our children not only smart, but also healthy and happy.
8. Teach your teen to plan their time, use it wisely.
9. It is necessary to pay attention to the style and methods of teaching. It happens that a rather complex material is given for independent study or is not explained at all.
10. When a child is too lazy, it means that there is a constant controller in his environment: someone has taken over all responsibility, and the growing person himself is not responsible for anything. It is helpful to gradually hand over responsibility to the adolescent himself.
11. And another important factor: it is necessary to take into account the individual abilities (genotype) of each child, and his ability to adapt to the general curriculum.
12. And last but not least, a child cannot live without interest in himself and the world. This interest in his personality is a reflection of the sincere love and attention of his parents and the people around him. If there is no such interest, he leaves home, avoids relatives, friends and teachers. Decreasing interest in learning … He is looking for close relationships, love on the side. At 15 - 16 years old, he may think that any pleasant relationship is true love. If the environment, and above all relatives, do not teach mentally close relationships, a person sells his soul in response to external attention. And anyone who looks at him affectionately, says kind words, will be able to take him with him … Where? - that's the question.

Let's see what else can be done

So that the child feels an open interest in himself. To do this, start to be interested in him: what does he find in communication with friends? What does he discover, what does he notice while walking? Are there any favorite teachers at school? Who is interesting from the adults? How?

Very often we rush: "How can we help?" Ordinary help often does not bring success, apparently because the help is not safe for the child: these are negative assessments of the personality, criticism, hints or direct statements from the series: "You are not good enough for me." Parents, when helping, often charge too high a fee … Moreover, if a parent is tense, offering help, the child always feels this - and refuses, saving himself.

What do you need? Open free attention. Find the strengths of the child, tell what is good about him, interest the child in his own personality. If you are now tired of all this struggle, tired of your efforts that lead nowhere, think about the child this:

• If your child has friends, it means that they are interested in something in him (they do not forget your child, they want to see him, they go after him, they call him outside …).
• If a child gets twos and threes day after day, but continues to go to school every day - feeling that he is a complete failure - he accomplishes a feat!
• If a child is often under stress from fighting you, but is still physically healthy, it means that he has tremendous strength and energy that protects the body.
• Has the child really done nothing good in life for you? Remember the situation when you felt good with a child, when it was just good because you gave birth to him. You didn’t give birth to him so that he would wear fives from school to you?
• Such children are often well versed in computers, fashion, youth music, mobile communications, navigate the forest … They are hardy, strong, athletic.

I am sure that you will be patient, understanding, you will find good sides in your children and will be able to tell them about them. This will be the first step towards your understanding, and later you can change your attitude towards learning.

If you feel that you cannot cope on your own, you can seek help from a specialist you trust.