10 Psychologist's Tips For Those Who Are Looking For Love On The Internet

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The current century is the age of the Internet, and acquaintances smoothly flow into the virtual space. What can you do to make your online acquaintance successful, and you meet the person you need:

1. Think about who you are looking for. Decide and write a list for yourself: what is very important for you in a relationship, what is desirable and what is categorically unacceptable. With such a list, you will know who your target audience is. Before (eh, I was not!) Write to a busty beauty about whom nothing is known except the size of the bust, or to a rumpled guy, 25 years old, who is in search of himself, check with the list.
2. Think about who your target audience is looking for … It is unlikely that a woman with whom you can discuss Nietzsche and Schopenhauer will be attracted by a photo where you, scarlet from the sun and happiness, are drinking beer by the pool under a palm tree. I do not want to say that some images are worse than others, I just propose to think about what effect they produce.
3. Submit an actual photo. Choose or especially for this occasion take a photo in which you will look like yourself, so as not to catch disappointed glances when you meet. A photo of ten years ago, in which there is not yet a trace of a now radiant bald head or an extra ten pounds, may attract attention, but it will not add to your chances for a real relationship.
4. Write as sincerely as possible … When filling out the questionnaire and conducting correspondence, do not try to appear as someone who you are not. If you want to portray yourself as a "real" woman or a "real" man, a timid doe or a Mexican cowboy for the sake of stereotypes, then you cannot avoid disappointment and misunderstanding. Trust me, nobody likes to be deceived.
5. If you like someone, write first (first). Basically, people refuse to take the initiative, because they are afraid of being rejected - I wrote, but they did not answer me. But, listen, you cannot be rejected by a person who is not yet in your life. You write to some fantasy about another person that exists exclusively in your head, but that person also has fantasies about you. These fantasies may or may not coincide.
6. Move from correspondence to meetings. If you are not on the site for fun in the epistolary genre or looking for a co-author for a historical novel, then move from correspondence to calls, and then from calls to meeting. A real meeting will tell you more than a million words about a person.
7. Remember, you're not a hundred dollar bill for everyone to like. Whether you're texting, calling, or dating, the other person might not like you, and that's perfectly fine. You are human. Some people like every single person, and some don't, and you are no exception. This characterizes you neither good nor bad. This is how life works. After all, you are looking for just one person, not conquering Hollywood.
8. Be simpler, look for the positive. When, looking at a photo of a man or woman you like, you are looking forward to a magnificent wedding, thinking about which school your children will go to, you are putting too much energy into something ephemeral. Then, after each meeting that does not lead to the registry office, you will find painful disappointment and sadness on the topic “our children will not be born, they will not give us flowers”. If you perceive the meetings as a new, interesting and useful communication experience, an opportunity to have a good time, it will be much easier for you.
9. If you are interested in something, ask directly. I know that many people prefer the tactics of a spy or an observer. Those. one person listens to the other and tries to decide how well what the other says suits him. If you want to know about something, ask, clarify incomprehensible points. People love to be interested in them, and they feel very uncomfortable when the interlocutor does not react and casts a shadow over the fence.
10. Safety comes first. Fraudsters are known to take on the most charming guises. Make appointments in crowded places, do not tell too much about yourself until you understand who you are dealing with. Don't get into cars with strangers.

I wish you good luck, inspiration, interesting acquaintances and, of course, true love!