2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
ASEXUALITY
Recently, the term "asexuality" has begun to appear frequently - it can be found in magazines, movies, and the Internet. At first glance, everything seems to be simple - it's something "without sex". But, since I'm curious enough, I decided to sort it out.
1. So who are these asexuals?
Asexuals are people who have little or no sex drive.
The concept of "asexuality" (sometimes "gray-sexuality") should not be confused with "anti-sexuality". Asexuality implies neither positive nor negative attitudes towards sex itself; also, do not confuse it with a physical inability to have sex, orgasm and procreation.
Some believe that asexuality falls under the definition of sexual dysfunction. Although in some cases refusal to have sex can occur for similar reasons, in general, modern medicine recognizes that asexuality is not a pathology if it does not harm physical or mental health.
To date, discussions are underway on the following issues:
- whether to consider asexuality as the fourth type of orientation along with hetero-, homo- and bisexuality;
- whether an asexual has no sexual desire at all or may experience a relatively weak libido.
It is important to understand that sexuality is in no way related to the desire to have - not to have children.
It is very common for asexuals to adopt children, use artificial conception, or may even have sex for the purpose of fertilization.
2. Possible causes of asexuality
At the time of the onset of asexuality, we can distinguish two types:
- "Congenital" The period of puberty comes, but interest in sex does not appear.
- "Acquired" Attraction was, there was sex, but at a certain stage both desire and interest disappear.
The cause of both types can be a medical disorder (malfunction of the glands, hormonal imbalance).
Also, asexual behavior can be the result of psychological trauma on a sexual basis (rape, harassment, unsuccessful first sexual experience, a sex scene seen in childhood, incest, etc.)
Asexuality can be the result of promiscuous sexual intercourse - so to speak, "fed up" and lost interest.
Excessive propaganda of sex on television, on the Internet, in the mass media (a huge number of recommendations and advice on how, where and with whom) does not leave room for free imagination and can also cause a desire to resist invasion of privacy.
Asexuality that develops in adolescence may be the result of family problems (early divorce of parents, strict upbringing..)
Often adolescents "suffer from loneliness", do not share their experiences either with their parents or with their peers because they are afraid that they will not be understood and withdrawn into themselves.
Lack of desire can be a defensive reaction to fear of violence, physical or psychological, formed in childhood. Often, unwillingness to have sex is associated with violation of boundaries, interference in all affairs of the child, verbal or physical rudeness.
Sexual attraction can also be artificially suppressed due to certain moral and religious beliefs.
3. Can an asexual become attracted and enjoy sex?
Basically, asexuals do not "suffer" from the fact that they do not want sex and therefore do not seek help. They can find a partner with the same "worldview" and live happily ever after. The problem appears when their partner is a person with a "normal" libido. Because of the unwillingness to offend or lose a loved one, an asexual begins to have sex because "it is necessary", which in itself is already traumatic.
Sex out of obligations, without pleasure, rather:-) on the contrary, with the feeling that it is being used …
If an asexual, of his own free will or at the request of his partner, still comes to the therapist, then the first thing to do is to send him for a full medical examination. In the case when the physical reason is excluded, you can work with the psychological ones.
Questions about your current relationship can help identify potentially traumatic situations.
As an example, one of the partners is obsessive, persistent, while the other may have the feeling that his feelings and desires do not matter, are not important, and since such feelings are often familiar from childhood, an automatic reaction arises - "disconnection" of desire.
By the way, an asexual can begin to enjoy as a result of some kind of psychological shake-up, for example, a very strong love.
For a note
More than 1% of people around the world consider themselves asexuals, and this is 70 million people! This state of affairs suits them, their "abstinence" does not harm either physical or psychological health, they do not feel the need to change anything and, therefore, asexuality is not defined as a pathology, but rather as a type of sexual behavior.
