Narcissists - Why Are Cold Seducers Attractive And Dangerous?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Marketers around the world, carefully choosing expressions and pictures, construct in our heads an Eden of luxury and pleasure, which you will surely get into if you are not like everyone else!

It is not fashionable to be ordinary, SUCCESS accompanies exceptional! All glossy magazines are dedicated to the special, unique and inimitable. They get everything excellent: the best girls, the best cars and the best resorts …

Daffodils - bright representatives of modern culture. Of course, every person is unique. Each of us has inherent ambition, purposefulness, the ability to charm, we all try to please and get what we want. Only sometimes it begins to take hypertrophied forms, where there is no longer a sense of the naturalness of relationships and the importance of other people and their needs.

Daffodils are charismatic and incomparableand it's easy to get caught up in their charm. No, they are not crooks and scoundrels. They are simply too self-sufficient for normal relationships.

In love, they are the most sophisticated and most dangerous seducers. Oh! You have never been so happy, you have never been so sought after, no one has been so romantic before, your life has never looked like a fairy tale. Exactly! There was nothing real there! The only thing that doesn't follow a magic scenario is the lack of an inspiring happy end. Relationships with narcissists are always toxic, disappointments are inevitable, and the end is predictable …

Why does he need you?

"Illusion is needed to hide the emptiness within," said one of the classics of psychoanalysis. And the narcissist is a master of innuendo, he deceives himself and you. Sometimes reluctantly, an innate talent, so to speak.

Fabulous courtship, beautiful gestures, and he himself is like a picture - all so successful and exceptional. Feeling of theatricality. With them it is impossible to feel real human closeness and they are not ready to take responsibility for another. You are an emotional resource for them. For all the external self-sufficiency, inside they have a gaping emptiness of real emotions.

How do you spot Narcissus?

HE IS IMPRESSIVE! Everywhere you look - only medals. Handsome, successful, sporty! You are amazing! There is one “but” - he is personally never satisfied with his results (not the fact that he will ever admit this even to himself). And he is sincere, because the inner emptiness cannot be filled with any external achievements.

YOU ARE ALONE NEXT TO HIM! Even when he tries to do the impossible for you, is generous and attentive and surrounds with dizzying flips of courtship, you do not feel sincerity and warmth in the relationship. It is impossible to give away what you yourself do not have.

YO-YO-EFFECT. Idealization and depreciation is a common story in the development of a relationship with a narcissist. At first it seems that He is ready to do anything for you! It charms, tries … It exalts you to heaven, then it disappears. And so over and over again.

HE FALLS ON FLAT. For her sake, he, in fact, lives and absolutely does not accept criticism. He believes that he is surrounded by envious people and losers, to whom he counts everyone who does not deify him. Usually intolerant of people's shortcomings.

GUILT

You constantly feel guilty towards him. He inspires her masterly, and then pulls the strings so that you appease him and beg for forgiveness and to feel control and power over your emotional world again.

NO STABILITY

With all his resources and the kind of actions performed for you (read “for the sake of recognition”), fantasies about the future, assurances of eternal love and fidelity, you feel constantly in limbo.

When will awareness come?

Getting away from the narcissist is almost impossible, he is too good. It usually cools down. Western psychologists have noticed that in a normal happy relationship, a period of stable, calm confidence in a partner occurs after about 4 months - for narcissists this period is usually the most difficult and dramatic for a partner.

NARCISSUS IS A DIFFICULT PERSONALITY! Although you constantly figure out his behavior and try to correct your mistakes, you cannot understand him in any way. If it becomes easier, I can say that he does not understand himself. On the one hand, he needs people around him, on the other, he avoids any real intimacy. He is able to talk for hours about the mystery of his nature, involving you in philosophical discourses about his person.

This puzzle has one correct answer - stop solving it and run quickly and as far as possible, saving your self-esteem and the remnants of psychological harmony.

Narcissus does not understand the word “give”, he will only “take”, “use” and consider his love for you as the greatest indulgence. The more you try, the less interesting you seem to him.

You must be the princess of Monaco, and then, perhaps, the qualitative indicators of his victory will exceed the quantitative ones. And he will stop - vanity will prevail.

But usually the narcissist is in constant search of the Ideal Woman (a reason that sounds good) and longs for new victories that will amuse his ego (the real reason).

This is a Holiday Man that cannot last forever.