Scandal As Drug Addiction

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

A scandal is a very strong drug, and it is not easy to get rid of this addiction.

In the process of scandals, there is a violent surge of adrenaline and violent emotions. At the same time, the human psyche can reach the limit of its capabilities, and if the quarrel does not stop, then one of the conflicting parties, and sometimes both, can break into uncontrollable hysteria.

Tantrum is a very spectacular and dramatic process during which people can reach a state of "negative ecstasy." Both scandals and tantrums sometimes end in catharsis and reconciliation, and in family and love relationships - also violent sex. By no means always, in the course of ordinary relationships, people can achieve such "vivid experiences" and such a rampant passions. Ordinary life begins to seem insipid and monotonous, so there is a temptation to quarrel about something again.

Another reason for the love of scandals is the fact that in the process of quarrels and tantrums there is a release of nervous tension, from which people do not find an opportunity to get rid of in any other way. The scandal leads to an excessive increase in mental tension, and then to a quick release.

Scandals are also constantly fueled by a special passion for winning the communication battle. This is a kind of rhetorical competition, in which a well-aimed word and a biting phrase can "knock your rivals out of the saddle." Just as a gambling addict cannot stop and not make new and new bets, so a brawler cannot stop hurling resentments and curses, especially if his partner turns out to be a worthy opponent.

What happens if a brawler doesn't find a worthy opponent

In a scandalous relationship, an “atmosphere of reciprocity” can develop, when both parties get latent pleasure from their stormy and emotional showdowns, but in some cases the situation may not be symmetrical. One person in the course of a conflict is able to achieve catharsis and tranquility, while for another such scandals turn into sheer torture, he does not receive any hidden pleasure and there is no mental discharge in him. Instead, the situation brings him to nervous exhaustion and psychosomatic reactions.

In the event that a "victim of scandals" begins to look for ways to avoid quarrels and finds some strategy of "escape from the conflict", another participant in the relationship, experiencing "drug addiction" from scandals, may experience a specific "psychological breakdown." As a result, he begins to look for new and new reasons for grievances. If they are not found, then he begins to insult his partner in the hope that he will finally stop playing as an imperturbable person, will not be so "hypocritical" and will show his true essence. As a result, one will look for ways to prevent conflicts, and his partner, on the contrary, will show ingenuity in provoking scandals.

There are paradoxical situations when a "scandal-dependent person", not finding reciprocity with the one with whom he lives, cheats on his partner not for the sake of seeking love and sex, but for the sake of having someone to quarrel with.

What happens to unwitting "victims of scandals"

The experience of being in a relationship, in which scandals and quarrels often occurred, always leaves its mark on the human psyche. Having slipped out of a relationship with a brawler, a person begins to be afraid of any disputes and conflicts. Very often the victims of "scandalous addiction" are not the participants of these performances themselves, but their children or some other involuntary witnesses of the events: younger brothers and sisters, and even neighbors or friends and girlfriends of "scandal-addicted" ones.

Very often, children who grew up in a family in which parents constantly quarreled and scandalized try to avoid any conflicts in their lives. They sometimes react painfully even to situations when, in quite peaceful disputes, people slightly raise their voices. Fear of conflict makes people somewhat defenseless and greatly interferes with the development of their communication skills.

In some cases, they have to break off relations with loved ones due to the fact that too many "insoluble contradictions" have accumulated in these relations, although all these difficulties could be successfully overcome if they were not afraid to go into conflict with their partner. Moreover, the breakup of relations also takes place in a “non-conflict form”: they simply quietly run away without clarifying the relationship.

Drug addiction from scandals is, in principle, curable. This happens if the "brawler" stumbles upon a sufficiently stable and communicatively flexible personality, capable of withstanding the "drug withdrawal" of his partner, eager to get the usual share of adrenaline and violent emotions. In some cases, the need for a scandal burns out during the acute experiences of breaking up with a loved one. Psychologists usually meet with this type of people during these periods of their lives.

“Scandal victims” usually turn to psychologists with complaints of low self-esteem and lack of vitality and energy. The first thing that has to be taught to them is “technologies of controlled conflict”. They have to explain how the conflict differs from the scandal, and that not all disagreements lead to a meaningless showdown.