2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
An elderly woman was sitting in her favorite chair. She settled down comfortably and reflected on how she lived and how she lives now.
Parents loved her and did what was prescribed for raising a child. She also took care of her children.
There are people in society who do research on parenting. Then they publish their conclusions as the most correct and best. Parents silently agree and follow the instructions. Give up their feelings about the child and his needs. It turned out that others know better what is necessary for their child.
Then, she studied in a regular school according to a program developed by scientists. They also, through research, came to the conclusion that this is the best that can be at the moment. And people agreed with that.
Further - an institute, which had its own rules for acquiring knowledge, which also corresponded to other people's conclusions about the usefulness of such learning. At that time, slogans about happiness and a bright future had already begun to appear, provided that certain prescriptions were observed.
"Higher education is the path to success and happiness!" There were so many different slogans, appeals, instructions. Where and how to move to the place where the necessary "happiness" of each person was. It is interesting that they managed to determine this "happiness" for her by issuing a map and landmarks.
Now she is surprised that she agreed with this and noticed that everything that was given was alien. Wrapped in a pretty wrapper and served as what she wants. She believed that in this way she could achieve her happiness, which someone suggested. Someone who is not known to her, but she believed him or them.
Then she got married, as it should be for a young woman, gave birth to children. Thinking that this is her personal choice. Although in fact, she was supposed to get married and have children. So they said - that a young woman needs to do it. “It's good that she chose her husband,” she thought, smiling.
It was a race for blessings and a dignified life. And as it seemed to her, this was what she wanted. Nearby shoulder to shoulder with other people, she "ran" in the direction of happiness - an apartment, a dacha, a car. The set that is so necessary for an ordinary person to feel happy.
She was horrified at the thought that she was actually serving those who believed that this was the necessary good. Watching how she and others deal with it, stimulating her to keep going. Then they confirmed that this is what people want. The result was a choice without a choice. It seems like she chose, but in fact the choice was made for her, and she realized it, taking it for her.
She remembered a movie where people were marching in circles, serving someone's idea, arriving in fantasies that go their own way, towards their dreams.
She was convinced that her children and grandchildren had already swallowed the bait that was presented as a path to good. That there is an instruction and if you follow its instructions, you can achieve "Happiness". And they are already participating in this race together with others for a prize called … Probably each has its own prize fund, under a personal name.
But they do it in the way that they were offered, so passionately, so enthusiastically that they do not notice life itself. Honestly using all the recommendations for their existence. "Did not work out? Try again, then again! Pay attention! You are spending your time wonderfully on the dream that we offered you. Stay with us".
Probably, for this life was given, and she spent it in this way. Now children and grandchildren are doing what is proposed. Escaping from oneself to the imaginary "Happiness".
From SW. gestalt therapist Dmitry Lenngren
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